How do I keep this from ending badly?

So, I've been talking to this guy for awhile now, I also work with him. I really enjoy his personality and we get along great. We've hung out quite a bit at his place and a lot of sexual tension has been released. We haven't had sex but it's been close on multiple occasions. I'd love to get into a relationship with him but I'm afraid to even talk about it. He's also older than me by quite a few years so I worry that I may be just a toy to him.

I've heard from others that I work with that he is a player and this worries me. None of them know anything has happened between him and I of course. It also turns out that he has been down recently because his ex is moving back into town. This girl was the main girl he was interested in getting serious with but she had cheated on him and partied her life away so he had ended it. She also took a lot of his prized possessions. Now that she is back, I'm not sure what this means. He claims to hate her saying "Beauty was only skin deep." with her but I'm not sure.

I'm stuck at a standstill. I'm going to have to deal with him either way so it wouldn't make sense for him to play me yet I feel scared. I don't want to be used and I really do like him. It's not so easy for me to bring up the topic either, especially with his ex situation going on now.

Help?


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What Guys Said 2

  • This is a complicated situation you put yourself through! Overall, it's not your fault, you just followed your senses and that's nothing to be ashamed of.

    If you've heard that he's a player, he most probably is, and I would stay away. Players know how to seduce and get girls to like them. They know what to do, what to say, when and where and everything else to get what they want. And what he got was you.

    Let things die off with him and treat him as a workmate and a friend. Nothing more. I have doubts that he will be willing to have a relationship that you would want with him, so in the end there's a very good chance that you will end up hurt.

    Since you already know that you need to end this, either talk to him and let him know that YOU're not feeling this anymore, and that you still enjoy his company as a workmate and as a friend, and that you two should leave it at that. Or, just let it taper off until those behaviors subside and go away.

    I hope this helps and good luck!

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  • He is a player! It should worry you. Unless you are casually dating for awhile and developing a serious relationship, don't lower your standards like that. Also, the fact that he is older makes it even more suspicious. Don't go through with this...

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