Do you believe a cheater deserves a second chance?

I know it's a lot to read but please read before answering. Ok I know what you're all thinking and I agree, there is no excuse in most cases. However I just want to give a little bit of a background. I'm a loser, I grew up without many friends and I never even had my first kiss until less than a year ago. The 3 girls I've ever been involved with physically were all within the last 10 months and were all extremely long distance. I met a girl from Korea about a year or so ago (before my first kiss) but it was going to be a year before I was going to be able to see her (I got stationed there). I broke things off with her and later I met the love of my life, amazing girl (from UK). We had the most beautiful LDR ever and we met in person for about 2 weeks. However it was going to be 1-2 years before we could be togehter permanently. We were dating for over 6 months and I ended up getting stationed in Korea and hung out with the Korean girl previously mentioned. I trusted myself and my girlfriend also trusted me. I had no intentions of doing anything with the Korean girl other than friendly things.

She was basically gonna be my "tour guide" while I'm stationed here for a year. As time went by she started showing more and more signs that she wanted more with me, over time it just became hard to resist, one thing lead to another and we... did things. Keep in mind I had barely even had my first kiss less than a year prior to that. In the heat of the moment all I was thinking about is how great it was to have that amount of affection right in front of my face, the type of love and effection that I've never gotten to enjoy. I love the other girl (UK girl) with all my heart and I planned on spending the rest of my life with her. I felt very guilty afterwards and admitted everything to her. I could've just kept it a secret but I was honest about it. I admitted the truth to both girls and now the UK girl doesn't want to speak to me ever again and blocked me.

Updates:
Korean girl is basically my girlfriend now. I really do like her, she's sweet, attractive, and cute but I am so in love with the girl from UK. We were basically soulmates :(

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Most Helpful Girl

  • I'd be very surprised if the one from the UK ever gave you a second chance.

    Cheaters don't deserve second chances, in my opinion, because they consciously made decisions that they knew would hurt their partner. Hurting someone on purpose because you can't be honest with them or realistic about your expectations is not okay with me.

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    • "can't be honest with them I was honest with her though and I didn't intentionally hurt her. I could have just kept it a secret and she would have never even found out. I was in a totally different country.

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    • And you didn't remove yourself from the temptation. Apparently you didn't care that much about your ex girlfriend because you weren't able to remain faithful. Just a walking codpiece.

    • I really don't feel like continuing this debate. It wasn't just "me not caring" I've never been in a situation like that before as I clearly specified in my question. I respect your opinion but I just feel like you're being a bit unfair. I don't want to talk about it anymore. Thanks.

Most Helpful Guy

  • Yes everyone deserves a second chance, as long as that person as regret

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • You messed up and I suggest you leave the UK girl alone. She trusted you and you broke that trust. You'll get stationed in other places and all she'll be thinking about is who are you gonna meet this time. There isn't an excuse, you need to have self control. I get that you miss the affection and she does to but at the end she didn't cheat on you. So honestly I'm on her side.

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  • Well that was just a fuckin rotten thing to do! (her blocking) she should talk to you. Maybe give it some time and she will unblock

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    • She did talk to me. I explained everything to her, a lot more in depth than I did in this question. It was over the course of a month or so but if anything even SLIGHTLY reminded her of what I did, she'd flip out again. Last time it happened, she got so pissed and called me a prick and a dickhead and blocked me.

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    • Just last night.

    • Oh fuck
      Hopefully she comes round
      Contact her another way if you can

  • You were selfish and I don't believe the poor girl should even give you a second chance. Cheaters are scum in my opinion. Just because you were a 'loser' doesn't give you an excuse to cheat. If you loved the UK girl, you would have had enough self control to take yourself out of the situation. But you didn't. So live with the consequences.

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    • So you downvote me because I give you the truth, LOL!

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    • well what can I say? You deserve it :D

    • Ummm... ok then. Hopefully this made your day happier. Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

What Guys Said 1

  • Thanks for your service, but cheating is never good brother. You were honest, so you can be proud of that. Enjoy your time with who you are with and worry about "Seoul" mates just yet. When it is right, it is right.

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