Moving out after ex and me broke up now he wants me back?

Me and my boyfriend were living togther for year, moved in after a year of going out, things were good at the beginning but then he got his new job and things went downhill, he spiralled into depression and withdrew from me. He never sought help, his new job in recruitment put strain on the relationship and al he did was play xbox and use me as a commodity for making him dinner every day. There was no passion, sex was minimal, as was affection. He was depressed he wasn't earning much money, my trust went out the window cuz of his distance and he got angry at me oer little things, making me upset. He would rather see his frieds than me, blaming me for being stressful and annoying. On his birthday a few weeks ago this girl he used to talk to on MSN wrote on his wall "happy birthday hopefully see you soon" I asked him about this he said it was nothing. I found out from friends he's never met her when he's told me previous he knew her from college. I went on his fb to find he HAD been arranging to meet with her. I got mad, and then he got mad cuz I had snooped. I am moving out now, he said we wanted different things anyway and that he didt wanna be married or have kids. I ended things as he couldnt bring himself to dump me officially.

He has recently got a new job, we have started talking and being civil but now we are sleeping in the same bed and had sex last night, really passionate sex, which he initiated which he never normally does. He has been looking at me different too, like longingly and started telling me he didn't want me to go, he can't live by himself.

I just dont know whether he actually regrets what he did and maybe his depression and lack of funds made him push me away and seek affections of another woman, or he is just trying to get me back cuz he knows he won't hve anyone to cook and clean for him. I dont even know where he stands on marraige or kids either, I am too scared to ask. Please help?


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What Guys Said 1

  • Tough situation. You both need to sit down and have a long talk about what you both want, and what you both are not prepared to put up with.
    I would tell him to write down his fears and his hopes, and you do the same, so that you can work out whether you are both going to be able to give eachother the things you both need. If he doesn't have the time to discuss your future together at length, then he doesn't have the time for you in his future. He should be enthusiastic about this idea if he wants to kno where you both stand moving forwards. I would be suspicious of anyone who was reluctant to discuss important things.
    You both need to talk about how things went wrong last time, so that you can learn about each other and avoid drifting apart in the future, should you choose to try again.

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    • Thanks great answer. We have chose to stay together for the time being. But still moving out to live apart and do the whole dating thing over again. Kinda like a fresh start. I don't know if this is a good idea bit if we decide to break up will make the whole situ a lot easier. He doesn't think we will but I don't know. See if he misses me enough to realise what he has. We still got a holiday to go on in August which we booked a whole ago so I don't really want things to fuck up before then.

      Yeah he doesn't like discussing future stuff cuz I think it scares him. He never likes not having money and I just think he's career driven and wants to do all that first. He says he has no commitment issues and doesn't wanna be with anyone else, he just felt with his previous job he couldn't give me what I need. The new job seems to have changed his perspective completely

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