If he is finished with me why is he TRYING TO continue to hurt me?

Ok my ex and I were together for 3 years, knew him for 10... I was friends, real good friends with his sister... his family loved me... we moved in together and we had a blended family... we had support of everyone because they saw how happy we were... but he had jealousy issues, insecurities and blamed it on me... well day before mother's day he kicked me out, stole my tax refund and lied to his family that I stole 2500 from him... he lied said I was talking about his mom, he said I cheated on him and he constantly accused me... even after we broke up I was still there, but I just couldn't anymore because it was like why do this to yourself... so I stopped everything... when I did that he began to just be straight ugly with me... he wouldn't give me my kids things... he wouldn't give, me any of the refund money, my truck was still in his driveway, he threatened to have it towed, just being ugly and I don't know why he acted this way... we broke up May 9th... around June he had a, new girlfriend... then took her to his family reunion, posted pictures on FB through other mutual friends... his family has embraced her... just a week ago he purposely drove past me so I can see him and his girlfriend in the car... he drove by me slowly and leaned over so I can see... he unblocked me on FB for some reason... not that I was looking I just noticed through a mutual friend I could see his name again... anyway... he hurt me BADLY... my 4 and 5 year-old still ask about him... it's like he us going out of his way to make me hurt even more... I deleted his family and anyone connected but I think about it.. not as much as I used to... we just broke up in May... and he drinks a lot now... people tell me I look happier than I was with him... I just don't understand why he had to make it ugly like this... I want closure but not sure it's even worth it... I was forced to stay with my sister but in the process of FINALLY getting my own place... but just don't understand his dumbness?


Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't know the whole dynamics of your relationship or anything... But it sounds like inside he still carries a torch for you.
    Also it sounds like somewhere inside he became twisted and was hurt over something, whether his hurt in his imagination or not is somewhat irrelevant if he believes what he thinks to be reality.
    I get the sense that somehow he gets a twisted pleasure out of trying to make you feel bad as some kind of vindictive measure.
    Rest assured, karma is swift... And whatever bullshit he pulled on you in your relationship, he will carry over into his new one.
    10 years is a long time just to move on without carry a lot of baggage with him... All I have to say is I feel sorry for the girl he's with as I'm sure she has no idea yet what she's going to be dealing with.

    • You know what is funny? I used to always tell him u are letting ur imagination get the best of u.. he makes up scenarios in his head... I was really in love with him... looked past a lot... but it hurt my heart... but I am doing good... I am focusing more on my babies... anyway I believe what he did was childish... I appreciate the advice... I do...

    • Show All
    • :-) :-) :-)... I really appreciate you taking the time out giving me your take on it... I do... I am taking heed

    • Your welcome! :)
      I wish you the best!!! Better days are right in front of you!!!
      Approach life with a smile, you deserve it! :)

Most Helpful Girl

  • Oh sweetheart. I don't mean. That in a condescending way, I just know a lot of what you're feeling. Well I can't say that, but I just broke up in June and my ex followed a similar suit. He went out of his way to make things so awful. The last he spoke to me was him abusing me mentally and proving how much he didn't care and how nothing was important other than his desires. Now i hear he's been drinking a lot too. All I wanted was closure.
    I can't explain their dumbness. I feel it's a result of them being truly hurt and... angry.. with themselves. I feel like they might think along the lines of "why do I do this!" But couldn't ever help it. And take it out in awful ways. Men are prone to anger it seems. Like it seems to be a default for many emotions, a blind rage.
    That's all I have come to think. I'll never understand fully. No explanation will make it hurt less or more excusable. I'm sorry for what you have gone through but I hope that it all leads to something wonderful for you and your children.
    Good luck, sweetheart.

    • Awwwww thank you so much... my kids and I are doing WONDERFUL!!! Everything is just falling into place... I'm grateful!!

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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm not gonna be saying that it's true or not.. this is just my opinion, but that act he did.. is more like a childish act, the way you mentioned how he kicked you out stole you're tax and lied to his family, and driving slowly to make you see him with his new G. F... is actually a childish act really childish, but to ask why he did that stuff... might be that you hurt him without you noticing or he had it planned for something i don't know, but doing all that stuff for no reason... it's more like impossible, he must be up for something (Most guys will risk to make things go his way). Anyways this is my opinion.. I'm not sure what was on his mind and if he's still hurting you just stay away from him

    • Thank you... I did everything he asked of me because I REALLY truly wanted US... but smh... he can't even tell me why we broke up... never was straight with me... but ur right... I'm moving on... thank you

What Girls Said 2

  • Omg sorry its so long 😁 shortly, ex is ex 😉 forget 😊

  • I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Sometimes people act like assclowns... he seems very immature. And he seems very angry at you for some reasons - stay away from him. Unless you owed him money, he stole from you. And this show off of his new girlfriend seems like a way to get back at you, perhaps for something you did or said? I don't know.
    You did good deleting his family on FB. Please block him, he might just try to peak into your life through common contacts.
    You and your kids deserve better.

    • The thing is... we played house... I took care of him... cooked, cleaned, catered, took care of our kids, basically he had nothing to want for... as far as money... smh I never stole from him... he started becoming selfish because he had 3 child payments coming out his check... but I thought we were fine... smh... thank you love... I'm focusing on us...:-) :-)

    • I know the story too well... it happened to me too. When you give too much, sooner or later you will be taken for granted. And what you give will never be enough. Those that are hard to get are usually more attractive...
      I am sure you did what you did for your kids, he was simply an extra one.
      My feeling is that he will realize what he lost and come back. But you have to be strong: don't look back. Once trust is gone, it takes time and effort to build it up again. And he does not seem mature enough to do it.

    • :-) :-) :-)... I so appreciate your advice... thank you

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