What did my ex guy do this? Guys I need your opinions!

I asked this question before but didn't get much answers. This is still on my mind and I'm still confused and want to know what my ex thinks. So I need you guys to tell me why a guy would do this. This is what I wrote 2 days ago:

I am so hurt and confused by this. I'll try to make it short. My now ex boyfriend (of a year and half) and I just broke up a week and a half a go. Last night he called me which I was so shocked and didn't expect him calling me so soon after the break up. When I knew it was him who called, my heart began to beat faster like I was excited that he had called but confused as well.

I thought he had called to apologize for all the bad things he had done as well as all the things he had said to me that hurt me. Thought he was going to tell me he was a jerk and that he has realized that he made a mistake and that he wants to be with me. Well I was WRONG! At first we were talking casually, like he was asking me how I was doing, what was new with me, you know just simple things like that.

Then I don't know how we got into the topic of our relationship and he blamed the break up on ME! I was faithful the whole time I was him and never did anything to hurt him in any way. However, he did somethings that hurt me. Like he was talking to his ex and he didn't even tell me and in many occasions he was talking to girls online basically acting single. He also told me that I never loved him which is so not true because I think I fell in love with him and I still do love him. Basically he was saying things that were not true about me and blaming it all on me, and not once did he looked at what he had done wrong.

My first question is, then why did he call me so soon? Is it because he misses me or what the heck?

Second, why is he blaming it all on me when I never did anything to hurt him. Is it that guys don't like admitting their mistakes? Or what?

Third, will he ever realize that he made a mistake of loosing me or regret the things that he did wrong?

Please tell me what you think about this, and give me your honest opinion. I really appreciate it!

Updates:
BTW I was his first serious girlfriend and his family knew/loved me and they live in another country. His sister told me that I was "The One" for him and so did he. He even asked me if I would marry him. (Not a formal proposal, he just asked)
Throughout the relationship we got into some small arguments but would make up within the next couple of days since the arguments were not big. But the last 2 months, we just didn't see/talk to each other than much because I had just found out that...
he was talking to some girls online. He was never aggressive or anything like that. We actually had good communication and would talk through things calmly. I know he never cheated. He and his family tells me he has never been this serious before.
I just realized the question has typos. It was supposed to read "Why did my ex guy do this?..." :)

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Most Helpful Girl

  • he called you because he misses you and is realizing it now that your not together...like all men they will always blame us for everything that goes wrong so don't be surprised at that...he will realize what he has lost when you start glamming yourself up again and he sees that your a beautiful woman who any man would want to date and so he will get jealous and want you back...if you don't suspect that he has cheated then it means that he just wanted attention from other woman than you and that was probably why he talked to girls online ...dont feel bad but you might not have been keepin the relationship fresh...if you guys do get back together make sure you find different ways to please your man or you could lose him again...and to add to why he called you so soon was to make sure you did not forget him already and to mess with your head and have you thinkin about him all day like you are right now...good luck with your sittuation

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • He is playing games by accusing you of "not loving him and behaving as if you do".

    He probably feels guilty and wants to free himself of that by accsing you.

    Get away before this drives you mad.

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  • i say, see you later...if he putting all the blame on you then screw him. a relationship should be equal. there's always good and bad in both partner. but if he's just blaming you then nah. he's no good. there are better people out there. but then again if he apologize and blame some stuff on him too, then its a different story.

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    • Ha! That's what I wan't, an apology from him and to admit that he has made mistakes. I don't know when I'll get that though. For some reason, I apologized for everything when we were breaking up like "I'm sorry if I did anything to hurt you" even though I know I did nothing.

What Girls Said 2

  • I'm going through something like that with my ex. He said all these hurtful things about me and why I was with him. Then said I was the one that needed to let go and leave him alone. Basically blamed me for there still being feelings if he had them. I finally got to the point, told him I needed one last night as closure to say goodbye. We agreed for a certain day. He said see you then. Then told me over text we were still on for that day. It came and nothing. I texted him, he said nothing. He isn't responding to any of my texts. When I finally try and give him what he wants, he bails?

    Guys don't want to show their emotions. Blaming it on you makes it easier for him to not care about you because he might or might not still have feelings for you. He's probably trying to figure that out. He also doesn't want to admit to being wrong. THat shows weakness. However, a break up happens because something is broken. He did things you didn't agree with. But maybe you did something or were doing something to hurt him that might not have been obvious to you and he didn't bring it up. It sounds like you guys need some kind of communication. Why did he break up with you? He won't realize it anytime soon probably. He'll act like he doesn't care and try and forget about you to move on. You should do the same right now. Focus on yourself. Trying to get my ex to give me closure is like trying to walk on water. It's just hurting me more. You won't understand why he's doing what he's doing. And he's not gonna give you the answers you want. If he does realize the mistakes he made you shouldn't be available to him at his beck and call. He should see that you can live without him and he screwed up and needs to change to be with you again if that's what he wants.

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  • First, don't bite me for saying this, but this guy sounds like an immature jerk. Break-ups are rarely any one persons fault (yes, I include cheating in this)

    He called you so soon because... Well no one can say with all certainty. He could miss you, or he could be angry with you, and need to talk, or rant or rave. He could want to build some sort of friendship with you.

    Second, people don't like to blame themselves. They look for scapegoats, and nobody likes admitting their mistakes. It's not a male thing, it's a human nature thing.

    Third; Possibly, I think at some point, everyone realises the wrong they have done. However; if he blames you, maybe you should try looking at it from not only your point of view, but his as well. You're not together because it wasn't working for one of you, right? And it might end up that it wasn't a mistake breaking up, could be that it was just time to throw in the cards.

    And question; how can you "think" you fell in love with someone, but still be in love with them. You sound quite unsure, and that can be confusing in itself, maybe he got that vibe? I think maybe.. Both of you need to put blame where it lies, and not make it seem like either one of you is completely innocent. It takes two.

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