I recently dumped my boyfriend of 3yrs. it was long distance (UK and USA) but he paid for me to visit him and insisted I keep my money as he knew I was struggling with bills back home. he was always there 4me and got me through sum tough times. He took care of me when I was sick even paying for my dental care twice as I was in pain. He took me on European vacations etc. he always made me laugh and smile. I never loved anyone the way I loved him and sex was the best I've ever had. I'd get home after a bad day and there'd be flowers etc waiting for me. He WAS perfect. Things changed when he found out i lied about kissing some1 else while we were on a break & he then found out I wasn't actually divorced from my husband (we have been separate for a yr) before I met this man). He became jealous and got annoyed when it took me hours to reply to a text even though I was texting other people back etc. he had a lot going on and I know he was unhappy in his job (he gave up a job he loved and took one he hated to sponsor me to live there). He also hated that I kept him secret from my family for 2.5yrs and wouldn't let him be friends on fb. He got angry that I started doing webcam sex shows for money and jealous when I was going out with male friends because I flirt with them. I admit I doflirt but nothin more. We broke up for a bit and I kissed some1 else again during that break (a male friend) and we got back 2geva but he was unhappy that I still see the male friend. I got pregnant and miscarried and then left him for good as he was acting depressed and needy and clingy.
He started therapy for is issues (he has a really bad past, his mom kicked him out when he was 14, his dad died when he was 9 and he was sexually assaulted as a child). I started seein him get back 2 his good old self, the man I loved so much but he would now and then get jealous again so I left him for good. Therapy is helping him & he continues to go. We haven't spoke for a month now and I think he's with som1 else.
- wrong to leaveVote A
- Right to leaveVote B
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Most Helpful Girl
From what you say... I think it was a good thing that you let him go. It does not seem you were invested in the relationship the same way he was. He was there for you always, you weren't. You took advantage of the situation.
Why did you lie to him about your relationship status? Why did you keep him secret from your family? Also, you really flirted and kissed others? It does not matter if you where on a break! How do you think he felt knowing this? Walk a mile in his shoes...
Clinginess, loss of self-esteem, insecurity, jealousy and depression are most likely a consequence of you lies. Lies always have a way to come out! And the consequences on the person that was lied to are often devastating, especially if he already has emotional baggage from his past. He trusted you... and you betrayed him. Once trust is gone, it is gone.
Frankly, I would have dumped you long before if I were him. He probably loved you so much and was so invested in the relationship that could not find the courage to do it.
So, if you really love him, let him go and move on with you life. You guys do not seem to be a good match. Perhaps the person he is seeing now is a good match for him. Also, learn for your mistakes - do not tell lies. Honesty always pays back.1