Girls, whats the next step?

Me and my girlfriend of over a year broke up about a month ago. We didn't really hang out much at first... slowly worked my way back into her life. After the first week we slept together but she made it clear we werent together again. I just said I know. She started to contact me more and more... calling me to hang out, to talk etc. She still has wet feet about a relationship again... we had a lot of fights towards the end but the last month has been calm and drama free.
Anyway, she has slowly warmed up more to me. We haven't slept together again, just intimate hugs, kissing and holding eachother a few times... she knows i love her and I dont shower her with stuff or take me back, i just enjoying our bond. She stated texting me starting to miss me at night, then the other day text me saying im the best guy she has ever meet, im like her superman, and she is happy i am in her life.
I know she still has contact with an ex fiance (she was witj him for 6 years), but she turns down seeing him all the time for me... plus overall he doesn't compare to me as a man (lives with parents, immature, unintelligent... etc)
This girls also makes hints about us being together. She says things like she wants us to be a ripped couple since we work out a lot, or talks about how the future will be, blah blah... yet she sometimes mentions how she isn't ready for a relationship (ummm seems to me we are in one).
Should i slowly just let her figure her shit out... its been improving? Part of me wants to give an ultimatum but i think that will just pressure the situation more. She flirts more, smiles more, doesn't freak out when i talk about us being together again, and i think she's starting to realize what she had and not trying to lose it... but I dont know if i should try to turn up the romance and see how she responds or what. What do you girls think... or am i totally mislead

Updates:
We had a conversation about it yesterday. She said she has thought about going back together, but she thinks the drama will happen again. Both of us made mistakes. I just said ya time heals everything and agreed not to rush into anything. She wants me around all the time... and I just see being patient and mature working out. She knows im the best man she's ever meet, but she thinks she needs to be something special with me. I told her be herself... hope things work out

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Most Helpful Girl

  • imagine being in her shoes... you love the feeling of being with someone, etc.; basically a relationship. But, to term it a relationship adds pressure that people generally aren't sure that they can handle. I believe that she wants to be with you, but she doesn't want you to pressure her about it. Some people have to grow into that title because it puts an ultimatum on things. it seems like when you guys got into a relationship the first time, everything changed; everything has gotten so serious so quick. but, as soon as you guys broke up, the good times came back. is it possible that she missed what you guys were before? or it could be that she isn't ready to commit... at the end of the day, its about how you feel. if you feel as if she is leading you on, talk to her and see where she stands. If you like where you guys are at, still talk to her, but put some clarity in it. if you feel its not going to go anywhere, let her know that.

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    • Ya i think the pressure is what really gets to her. She says she had to act a certain way and felt like she needed to be a certain way. She actually brought this up a few times. Today when she said it I told her to just be herself. At this point everything is pretty much the same, and i dont feel any pressure of being a certain way either so its less stress for me. I think the break caused us both to look at some things, but I can tell that the feelings for eachother are still there. She calls me, she chases me, she gets happy when im around, when things happen she tells me... our communcation is growing and we are learning about eachother. She talks about future... i do too... so i mean she obviously thinks about it. I think the whole title makes her seem like she needs to be a certain way, and I mean for the most part no just loyalty and honesty

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What Girls Said 4

  • Be careful, it sounds like she isn't certain about anything and might be playing with the idea of being with you, as opposed to actually being with you. Make sure she is in a good headspace before you crank up the romance... And remember a relationship is only as strong as its weakest member. You both gotta be on the same page. Good luck hun

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  • Just keep going along with it, it looks like you guys are in a good place don't make it end quicker than it has to. You're obviously first on her list so chill and enjoy your guys' time.

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  • This girl has absolutely no idea what she wants. Separate yourself for a while and let her figure it out. If she really wants you, she'll stop stringing you along.

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  • Turn up the romance, women like that and it doesn't seem like she's backing away to any of it so it might work out.

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