How to break up with someone depressed?

I've been with this girl through it all. I helped her through threats of suicide and got her to seek help. We've been together for about five months now and she is emotionally dependent on me. We've come to a point where all she does is sleep. She's a full time student and she moved in with me about 2 months ago. She doesn't work and I pay for everything. She insists that even though I work 50 hours a week I should still clean the living room and kitchen and wash all the dishes. I'm getting sick of it. I'm miserable. My place was clean always until she moved in. I washed my dishes as I used them. Now she piles plates without so much as rinsing them off and I'm expected to use my one day off to clean. I'm done, I want out, but she has stated off hand before "If not for you I would have killed myself." And I'm afraid she'll do it if I leave. I do love her, but sometimes love isn't enough.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • For 'Five months' and sadly still counting it seems, you have Now become this girl's life line and sole support. She has her claws in you, Depends on you for her very breathe that she breathes. However, you are tired of it all, cannot handle it At all and Now... I'm getting sick of it.
    Sit her down and get a game plan together. Do it diplomatically, you can't trust what she might do at any given moment. If you don't want to be alone to Inform her of your new man plan, find a friend to sit down with you. It won't be easy.
    Tell her you are going to help her make new living arrangements, whether it is at a near by Salvation Army shelter or a Woman's shelter or tell her she has to find a friend or family member that she needs to bunk in with.. This is Not working out for you.
    It is not so much the idea that you are the Sole supporter, it is Hard to deal with someone who has mental issues. On top of That, being a slob to boot, is enough to drive you insane.
    If she Threatens to End it all even as you watch, pick up the phone and Dial...911. You can't continue down a beaten path of Beating yourself up because you feel Responsible for every move she makes when you are trying to throw in the dish towel and move on yourself.
    Good luck. xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Get the hell out man! The relationship you just described is fucking dysfunctional. If she takes her own life, that's her problem. Don't let her drag you down to her level!

    Run! If you're so in love, why do you fucking hate your life right now? Get away from that nutcase!

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What Girls Said 7

  • I sympathize with your situation completely. It can be difficult to break away from someone who's so emotionally dependent on you to the point they'd consider ending their own life if you weren't apart of it. Instead of breaking things off so suddenly, you need to try communicating if you still have feelings for her that is. If she's willing to compromise and make changes, then the relationship should be worth salvaging. If she still refuses even after warning her that you don't know how much longer you can take her laziness, then I would tell her that she needs to find a place to stay.

    Odds are she won't kill herself and she threatens to do it for attention. I understand that she's suicidal and you love her, but if she loves you she wouldn't be putting that sort of pressure on you. She would also recognize that you have needs and worries too and that you shouldn't have to cater to her completely.

    Hope things work out for the both of you.

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  • You may love her but you need to love you more

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  • this is very tricky. if this relationship is also harmful or depreciating to your well-being than that isn't good either. find a way to let her down easy and then gage whether or not at that point she still want you as a support in her life after the break-up

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  • You need to pass her off to someone else. A parent, a counselor, a dean. But you can't let her difficulties control your life or you'll end up spiraling down with her.

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  • wow thats so nice of you.. at least you dont cheat on her... and you still care for her :/

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  • Have you talked about her seeking professional help for her depression? I think being the loved one that is the best you can do :)

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  • Just tell her that you have to think about yourself first.

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What Guys Said 4

  • Hmm tricky indeed. You are going to have to sit down and chat with her. Anyway you take this she will get mad since there is no right answer. If I were to say anything it would be to contact her parents and ask them to have her go home and they can try to talk her down.

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  • That relationship seems doomed man :/
    all that will end up doing is making you start to resent her and that's not good.

    Tell her things need to change, else you can't be together as it's really starting to get to you.

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  • kick her out but im sure you won't do it again because she might scare you with threats

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  • Lol you did too late, you deserve better. Just dump her without getting feelings in way

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