Is it bad to still miss your ex?
My ex and I broke up a few weeks ago over a huge misunderstanding, so much that we couldn't repair our happy relationship. At first I was okay with it, but I was conflicted about how I felt. We talked a couple of times, just to accept the breakup and be on good terms and I tried to give him the rest of his things back, but he'd told me to keep them. I knew I only offered because I wanted to see him, and I was honest and said I'm really trying to do too much here, I don't think I can really be friends with you at this time/ I miss you a lot and I want to see you. If you're interested, you're more than welcome to reach out. And, he didn't.
Late last week, I wrote on social media that I got a job before graduation and he liked it and said congrats, but now I just feel sad all over again. One of the things we talked about was that he felt like I had my life together and he didn't know why I was with such a loser like him because he's older than me and doesn't have his stuff together. I said I didn't care and it's never bothered me because we're on different paths (he's still in school). I look at pictures of other couples and the men are always saying that they're girlfriends are doing great things in their lives and they want to be there with them every step of the way, why would my man feel BAD about that?
Sometimes I go hot and cold: Meaning sometimes I really hate him for giving up and leaving me at such a pivotal point in my life and sometimes I just want to see him, hold him and laugh with him again and I cry. It's very strange. I'm trying to move on, go on dates with others, and sometimes I'm happy moving forward and sometimes I'm not.
Most Helpful Guy
It sounds as if he has some significant problems with self-esteem and there may be some underlying depression. The more successful you become, the more e feels guilty about being with you and eventually the guilt is overwhelming so he leaves.
You can't fix him. That is a mistake that women have been making for thousands of years. All you can do is let him go and move in with your life. I recently wrote a myTake on getting over a breakup and it may be helpful for you:
Most Helpful Girl
I see and hear that a lot from guys. Some find women intimidating because she has her shit together.. But here's how I see it! Why couldn't he use that as a motivation to grow and get himself together? Why walk away like a coward? Not all men are like this. Some of them do put in effort to match your fly because they realize they may never find someone like you again and they also realize relationships if done the right way are meant to build and uplift each other and make each other better. That's called maturity. My opinion be glad he walked.. You don't want to marry a man with that type of mentality. He'll leave at the first signs of struggle and refuse grow.. May not feel like it now but this was a blessing for you!0