Guys, WIll men date or marry a divorced woman with two children?

So here's the deal.. I am getting divorced. Not because I want to, but my husband suddenly decided that marriage is not what he's ever wanted in life. He's told me several times that I am the perfect wife FOR SOMEONE WHO WANTS A WIFE... He said that he's always been a loner and having a wife and children makes him feel smothered. He says he wants to give someone else the opportunity to love me and treat me the way I should be loved and treated (THESE WERE HIS WORDS) because he felt like I deserved better than what he could give. So my question is.. Will any other man be interested in me, having two kids from a previous marriage, or am I destined to be alone because I'm all used up?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Are you destined to be alone - just because you're about to be a single mother of 2? Hardly, unless you purposely want that. I married a woman with 2 kids. I was divorced and had one myself. Part of what my current wife looked for, was someone who would not only be a good husband (after all, you're going to live with him - hopefully - a LOT longer than your kids live with you), but also a guy who would be a good father to her kids.

    She jokes but is serious about the fact I was the only one that made it to date #3 and beyond.

    I'm somewhat annoyed at some of the crass comments a few guys made about you and your situation. You seem like a really nice lady! I'm sorry your husband chose this path. From what i read, he is clueless about what he's throwing away by divorcing you. It's got to hurt you and your kids tremendously!

    You're still very young. You have a lot of life left ahead of you. You also sound like a woman worth wanting by a decent guy. Whatever you do, don't lose hope that you'll find a guy who'll love you with his whole heart, cherish you his whole life, and desire you always. It's a dark time in your life now, but it won't stay that way. Have hope.

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    • Thank you very much for your comment. It gives me a small glimmer of hope that there are decent men out there. My children are very young and are still very impressionable, so I am not looking to replace my husband as soon as the ink goes on the paper, but I am just curious about my prospects in the future.

      Truthfully, I am very sad. The circumstances of my situation are hard for me to digest, but still I'm trying to be supportive to his decision with minimal conflict. The hardest part is answering my sons' questions about why their dad left. But I can tell you that what I've written here isn't even one tenth of what my husband has put me through.. Throughout the entire marriage.

      I do appreciate the men who've commented here (even the ugly comments) because it offers insight into the male psyche and what I can expect. But I will stand by the fact that I waited to have children from the man I married, and both of my sons are by the same man (if that counts for anything).

    • Both my current wife and I have been divorced. It was anything but enjoyable for me. I spent the 1st 3 months with that sinking feeling in my gut, every day, that you get when you go down a roller coaster. Only I wasn't physically on one.

      It took me about 6 months to feel like I was going forward daily and mentally looking forward instead of mentally viewing backward. I'm well aware of the emotional ride you're on. It's gut wrenching on a good day and gets worse from there. My heart goes out to you and all the agony you're going through.

    • :) Truly thanks for your understanding.

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What Guys Said 10

  • my first marriage was to a woman that was divorced and had three kids , so yes it it is possible

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    • Awesome! Hope is alive after all! Thanks for the input.

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    • I really appreciate your comment! But please know, from the bottom of my heart. I would NEVER lower my standards to get a guy. Honestly, my husband was a completely different person when we met. There were no signs or anything to look for. We were happy, and then he suddenly just said... "I've been pretending for years"
      But for me, protecting my sons from seeing mommy date new men is my TOP priority. I don't think I'd even let a guy meet my children unless I knew we were serious and heading somewhere. Thanks a whole bunch!

    • it may not matter to read me saying this , but knowing your boys take priority makes an ole man smile , that way of thinking is not a common trait now a day. proud that you feel this way. as the old saying goes , when you least expect it expect it. I have actually married twice and both were single moms. so yes there are guys still out there that aren't scared away at the prospects of a single mom

  • Some guy would. I wouldn't

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    • Thanks for the comment!

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    • My ideal life doesn't include children.

    • Oh! Well thanks for letting me know! I appreciate and respect your response. I hope your life is filled with everything you want out of it.

  • My uncle has and so have some of my relatives.

    And my best friend's mom just got remarried and she has three hyper active kids.
    I just attended their wedding!

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    • Great! This gives me hope!

    • I mean you're still young, and two kids aren't a lot.
      I'm definitely sure that you'll find someone. Because there are so many people in your situation that feel the same as you. And that want a loving family.

      It may take some time, my uncle was left by his wife a married 9 years later. If there's hope for him then I'm sure there's hope for you!

    • Not that it'll take you decade to remarry, that was just an example!
      But for now focus on your kids, divorces can be very damaging to kids.
      Just put them first for now!

  • FUCK NO WOMAN, you have to kids already

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    • Thanks for your opinion!

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    • well, then you will have to try MUCH MUCH harder to find and keep the right man for you AND DON'T COME OFF as a gold digger. As a man with a higher income, I look for those red flags, when I see a woman with MANY KIDS

    • I'm truly not like that.. In fact, I've always earned more money than my husband, but that never mattered to me. Whatever I have is ours (until the day I'm no longer his wife). Even now, I'll conduct myself as honorably as the day I took my vow.

      I'm not a gold digger. I'm just a person who finds it difficult to understand his decision, but I'm still trying to be supportive. I'm not looking for a man to come and take care of me and my children. I'm more so concerned with my ability raise my sons into men. I am a woman, and I recognize that there are things that I won't be able to teach them because I'm not a man.

      He'll tell you himself, I am a good woman. And sexually I'm the best he's ever had (according to him). But I had to learn him and his likes and dislikes.. All those things he's told me about other women... he's comfy with telling me things because I'm a good listener. He'll tell you that he's the problem.

      I just don't want to wake up in my 50s single. I don't deserve that

  • I would be open to it if I was in a better financial situation

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  • Hell yeah! No problem at all. you sound like a lovely person you'll have no probs

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    • Thanks for your comment! I really appreciate it.

  • No way.

    Some guys might feel differently but the kids are a dealbreaker for me.

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    • Thanks for your comment! I do have a question for you though.. Does it even matter (from a guys perspective) that my children were born of my marriage?

      Do I get credit for waiting to have children from my husband, and not just any old boyfriend or something?

    • That wouldn't count for anything with me - I don't like kids.

      It might matter for some guys, but I think for the majority of guys that even want kids, they want it to be THEIR kids, not some other dude's kids.

    • Cool. Well thanks for the input. It does give me a lot to think about for sure. Personally, I think it sucks because I waited until I was married before I had children, and my husband suddenly changed his mind out what he wanted... Like, "Surprise, I've been pretending all these years!!!" So a part of me doesn't really feel like its fair. However, I understand exactly where you're coming from because before I had children, I would never date a guy with children. Too much drama for me!

      Thanks for your insight!

  • Psssh depends... can you cook?

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    • I am actually a very good cook. I learned from my father is a chef!!

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    • C'mon gurrl! This is destiny... I pick you up, go to your dad's restaurant, and we'll dance to techno music. Who can say no to that?

    • I can! I'm like 10 years older than you.

  • I know that myself I would date/marry a divorced lady with kids. But that is due to the fact I have dated and still meet up with said lady. So yes I feel you do have a strong chance of meeting a new guy :)

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    • Cool. Well thanks for the comment!

    • Your very welcome :) hope you meet an amazing guy 😊

    • Well thank you! Me too! Someday.

  • It's not insuperable but I think for most guys it would be a pretty big mark against you. You would need to have a lot going for you to make up for it or be willing to set your expectations pretty low.

    Trying to be honest.

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    • Thanks for the honesty!

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