Girls, really messed things up in a month of madness?

I'll try cut a long story short. Things were going well between us until at the start of the month in a silly argument I said a silly thing I said to her why have you got a better offer then. We had a good weekend and things went well all was forgotten until a week later I had had a few drinks said another silly thing we were going out at the weekend and I had misunderstood her message that said don't call me tomorrow see you Sunday I said the same thing again got a better offer then after she said ok we don't meet this weekend. Things in my life were going wrong work had gone bad problems with family and now with her. Panic and insecurities set in and everything became a downward spiral. She used a dating app because I set up a profile and sent her a message when she had never logged in to one since we met in December. Things were getting better then I brought up this dating app thing last week and everything went wrong. My insecurity had pushed her away so much and she said don't want to be with me. On Monday it was my birthday she still went on a day trip with me I wanted to know answers and when didn't get them frustration set in and I threw a glass on a train not at her never would. And was taken away by the police next day I went to get my car keys off her she said I'm crazy and insecure and now she knows my personality and thinks the whole other time I have been fake to her and thinks this is the real me and don't want to see me. This is not me and I tried to explaind that the whole series of events became to much and I never knew how to deal with it. We are going away for a month in Colombia in September. I tried calling her to much yesterday and now she has blocked my number. I know my actions have been irrational and out of character but she can't see that. I really want to know how we can turn this around and know I lost myself and have to get head straight but all of this is only this month. Feel I've just ruined everything in a month of madness
This is tottaly out of character for me. I know she needs space but I hope she can see this is not what I'm like and everything before this is how I really am. Now she finds me annoying cause I called to much the last week since it all happened and I know that's down to insecurities setting in. I've never been insecure before and didn't know what was going on. How can I make her see I know ideas wrong and out of character and it's not really me when she has blocked me and thinks I'm insane


Most Helpful Girl

  • This is extremely painful situation and I understand that it hurts. I don't think you need to justify your actions to anyone. Things like this make people emotional and sometimes that means acting out of character as much as we don't want to admit. Tine. You need to give her time. I would go no contact for as hard as that will be no contact for 30 days will be the best thing you can do for you and her in any form of a reconciliation. She might even need more time than that. Give it to her and you. No more pressure.

    • Many thanks we are going to Colombia to visit her family for a month in September. That's still on as far as I know she did say we go our own way after. Also some nasty things recently. I'm insecure crazy but that's only this month she has blocked my number too

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What Girls Said 2

  • Wow... I really am at a loss for words but I'll give you one piece of advice. Please be more confident, you are awesome in your own way and you don't need to be like other guys! Dont be too needy because as much as guys don't like when girls are needy it's kinda weird for a guy to be really needy. And lastly, forget about her! I'm sorry to say this but you have lost your chance... this is not a movie and she will not forgive you. By throwing that glass you struck her as a threat and she will avoid you at any cost. Find a new girl, and no more throwing glasses

    • Still going on holiday together at end of month. I'm not like that and have never been insecure or needy just this month when things went wrong. Never had any past issues with insecurity and never even been angry or lost temper in front of her it was random and out of character for me. She said I've been had a mask on this time together and shown my true colours which is far from true the only mask I've had on is this one that's burdened me this month out of character just wish I could show that it was a one off. As i it was and know how to deal with this. We've never had these problems before and I never would do anything to hurt her have always treated her with nothing but respect and kindness. I would like her to know that and she should know that. It's hard as we were becoming closer after I said those silly things. I know my errors just would like the chance to show its a one off maybe the month visiting her family might bring us back closer together and not go our own way after

  • I would recommend leaving her alone for a while. See what happens. I know you have to leave in a month... but the trip to Colombia is not your priority now. Your priority is finding your inner balance. Focus on yourself. Looks like you are stressed out, and excessive stress can make us do and say things we regret later on. Find a way to be happy without her.

    • We are going to Colombia together to visit her family. Yes really stressed out. Never had problems with stress but everything happened at once and stressed from all parts of life overlapped and took over. I've never been insecure about her just this month cause of all the troubles that happened. I can't believe that she thinks I'm really like this and thinks I've had a fake mask on for the whole time and now showing my true colours. Feel upset she blocked my number. Never had any thoughts feelings like this in previous relationships and marriage break up just got on with things but this one was special. Really want things to work out but in reality I know it's over. She said some nasty things and I find it hard to understand after everything I've done for her it all went wrong cause of a few silly words which spirled out of control I know my actions and behaviour was irrational but couldn't stop the insecurity. She said after Colombia we go our separate ways. Maybe the trip will help

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    • I agree. Life can be tough at times. And in those tough times we lash out at the ones we care about most, hoping in their understanding and willingness to listen and help up. But we cannot force them. They need to decide whether they want to help us or not. Some people simply can't handle this - they are the best and kindest partners until things are easy, but run away as soon as they smell trouble. Some are superficial and immature. Some people do not have the required empathy to be able to walk in our shoes.
      I am sure you are a good person. I do not think one can judge someone else based on a single event. You threw a glass and it's not ok. But it can happen. Just don't do it ever again. Bite your tongue or pinch your skin instead! I have seen someone punching a wall until his knuckles bled out of anger, and I know he is a wonderful person and would never kill a fly...

    • Anyway, I would focus on your little son. Always put him first in your life. He is the one that needs you the most and deserves all you attention. Never ever forget that.

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