To all the guys...time to say the truth!

OK so for some weird reason sometimes it is hard for me to imagine a guy has some sense of sensitivity, you know like they actually cry when they break up with someone or something like that. Basically all I can imagine is a guy saying "F**k it!"

I know there are nice guys out there who actually care about their significant other but I want to know...What is going on deep inside a guys mind/heart after a break up with someone you really loved and cared about? Tell me honestly, do you cry, do think of her constantly, do you wish she would call, do you wish you could of done things differently. Its ok to be sensitive, its part of being a human and I hate to think that if a guy doesn't feel anything after a break up then he really didn't give a damn about the girl. And I'm talking about a girl with whom you experienced your first real feelings like you could have had many girlfriends in the past but this girl was different and for the first time you fell in love, I'm talking about that girl! What's going on after the break up, because I heard that guys have more trouble getting over a break up. So be honest and just say the truth, how do you really feel?



Most Helpful Guy

  • It took me quite some time to get over my first serious girlfriend, I still to this day think about her from time to time, and wonder why I was such a dumb(_|_) When it came to certain things I said and did when dealing with her. She was the first for many things, and still to this day remains the only one I've shared certain things with. After the breakup we remained friends for a time, but it became too hard on her, because I was 'so wonderful' she wanted more from me than friendship, but couldn't get over my past mistakes, so she just dropped me completely. To be honest, if it hadn't been my first, I'd have manned up and done the job for her since I knew it was a difficult thing for her to do. I'm not the kind of guy who cries at the drop of a hat, but I am not the kind to hold back the tears when they need to come. And they poured down like rain many times over that woman, and more so over my stupid mistakes. I've not thought about in her in awhile though o.O Thanks for bringing it up my dear=P

    • Aaww. Wait so you not only cried because you were no longer with her but you cried because you've realized your mistakes right? Wow, I think that it takes a lot for a guy to realized the mistakes that they've made in a relationship but you did and I admire that. BTW sorry if I brought back memories :)

    • Heh, it's ok. I'm over her, but the memories still suck at times. There was plenty of good in the relationship to put a smile on my face when thinking of her as well. It's been said many times and will be said many more I'm sure, I'm not your typical guy ha=P I learn my lessons the hard way at times, but at least I learn, and better myself in spite of my past mistakes.

    • Nice to hear that :)

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What Guys Said 6

  • Highschool sweethearts - then 4 year relationship afterwards (on and off)

    [First break up]

    "What did I do that was so wrong!?" - aka the whiny baby phase

    [Second - 5th break up]

    "God she is frustrating - but this seems to get the point across, I know she will be there for me to go back to, and I know I'm just being stupid - god I actually care about her.."

    [After she cheated on me]

    "Good riddance, I don't need to be walked on and disrespected - your a ____, ____ ____ ____"

    [After she tugged on my feelings again - earning me back]

    "Wasn't I an idiot for letting you back in my life, I really do care about you - but why do you have to hurt me so much" - The confusion stage

    [Final attempt (for the most part)]

    "We gave it our best and we are better as friends. I think about you constantly - but I'm truthfully tired of hurting us, and I can assume the same from you. Hopefully everything works out and becomes great for you - but I will not allow you to flirt with me and earn my feelings back"


    Lamen's terms:


    I care about her until she gives me a reason not to. Imagine how you both first met - you didn't start as enemies; you were growing together. When there is a time in your life that you "grow apart" - it doesn't have to be horrible like in my experience; however, it commonly is. Most people only get "true closure" when they break things off in a permanent way - knowing that things won't change anymore.

    - When she cheated on me, I still cared about her but I wasn't able to express those feelings. Imagine someone saying "sorry" a thousand times, like it's part of every sentence. Eventually, one would think it was insincere and bullsh*t; this applies to my situation because I thought I cared about her, when she wouldn't give me the curteousy to not hurt me severely

    Best regards,


  • iv'e had other loves before...but I broke up with a girl 5 months ago that...when I try to even think about how much I love her, I still can't find the right words...

    i still cry, I still want her back more then anything, and I think about her 100 times a day...but she doesn't love me anymore (thats why we broke up) and iv'e accepted that she is never comming back to I'm just trying to live life and do my own thing...and hope one day she will come back...

    • I think you should stop thinking that one day she'll come back. Look, you don't want to be with someone who doesn't love you right? Even if you really lover her, there is no point to the relationship if she doesn't love you back. If you're a good boyfriend and you wanna make her happy in whatever way, it is really useless if she doesn't feel anything for you. Its better if you're with someone who really loves you because she'll apreciate everything you do for her and YOU will happy too :)

  • You feel empty inside. Like you've left a piece of yourself behind... You go through the following days numb. It's as if somebody came along and removed a piece of your heart. You don't think a whole lot, I always felt cold. And you lose interest in a large portion of your life. It's not something I ever want to experience again. Once was all it took.

    But then again what do I know, right? ( ;

    • Wow! I'm actually feeling like that. I feel like I've just lost a part of me and I do feel empty. Yea, its not the greatest feeling, it is really painful.

  • My ex who I was seeing for 2 years phoned me up and ended our relationship. I was pretty composed didn't cry and accepted it. I was pretty shocked but fine all that week. I then heard she was sleeping with another bloke a week later and it hit me, jeez we are actually over, I cried, she hurt me how she ended it. I guess I thought wed get back together after she phoned but when I realised she had had sex with someone else the next weekend it hit me it was over. It hurt me alot. Never seen her since

    • I think that happens, at first one is ok with the break up but then gradually you start to realize that you don't have that other person and it just makes you miss them more. I'm going through the same thing, although I don't know if he is already sleeping with someone else, but it just hit me that were not together and makes me miss him more and more.

  • I can only speak about a year ago when I almost got divorced. I had come to the conclusion that I wasn't in love with my wife anymore. I had nothing else going on. I just needed to tell her and see what happened. Telling her broke her down like I'd never seen, and this is a woman who can't watch a commercial without tearing up.

    Over the next 48 hours I went through the full gamut of emotion. I don't think I cried. But I do believe that what I was feeling was intense to the point that if I were a woman I'd have been bawling. The guilt, the shame, the feeling of the last decade coming to this. Watching my wife breaking in front of me. I knew I could never forgive myself.

    We stayed together. I realized that if I really wasn't in love with her, then her pain wouldn't have wounded me so.

    I feel . I cry... or I can say that I've cried. I feel uncertain. I experience regret and remorse. But you'll never see it.

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