After a relationship, I like to reflect and think about what i can improve.
here's some backstory: my ex was REALLY insecure. he admit it, too. he even admit that he didn't think it'd change. (how stupid of me to not dump him then and there!)
I have a few guy friends who have been close to me for a long time. When I was dating my ex, I didn't go out and hang out with my guy friends or text them like I used to. Yet my ex was still nervous about them, and would give me the cold shoulder if he noticed one of them texted me. (The text would usually say "do you and (my ex) wanna do something". I tried to be reassuring but he wouldn't listen, The later we got in the relationship, the more controlling he got.
We were hanging out once with my guy friends and him at a party but the whole time my ex was acting anti social and saying I didn't give him enough attention, when I was just trying to have fun, and if my ex wanted to be a party pooper then that's on him. And he yelled at me after. And the one time I told him I didn't like how he talked to one of his girl friends, he said I was just bitching at him. Is it my fault for having good guy friends? (I have social anxiety around girls because of past bullying-im trying to work on it, but I don't want it to be a NECESSITY for dating). Help me out?
Most Helpful Guy
There is a minority, both male and female, who believe that it is impossible to be "just friends" with the opposite sex and that, if you have an opposite sex friend, the must be wanting a romance with you.
You are right in now assuming that you could not change this behavior and you should have recognized that sooner. However, everyone must learn his lesson the hard way.0
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Most Helpful Girl
Well I can understand why he has issues with you having good male friends, everyone nowadays is scared of being cheated on, and being insecure made it worst, but you did make changes for him. I understand why you have male friends over females as females can be catty and hard to get along with (I have always gotten along better with males too). I think when you find a guy that is much more secure you won't have to worry too hard about justifying why you have good guy friends, however, a problem may arise if these male friends seem like best friends. As long as you put your next boyfriend first above the friends and he is secure in knowing where he stands there she be a low chance of problems. Just make sure that your next guy knows he is number one to you and if you can avoid the insecure guys that would save you a headache.0