I need opinions on my situation! Please help?

This is about my ex... One day he stopped talking to me out of the blue... I thought that he might need some time to think, since we were constantly fighting... so I let him be. I didn't call, text or anything. But then 16 days later I saw him on a concert with his friends and ex. They flirted and when he saw me he pushed away from her. I was pretending to have a great time with my friends and ''didn't even notice him'' but in reality it really hurt. After he pushed her away he appeared to have fun with his friends but he was constantly glancing my way.
So the next day I was really confused. I mean he didn't talk to me for 16 days what so ever and then I see him with his ex? Obviously I wanted answers so I called him and we arranged to meet on a Tuesday. He asked via text what was this about and I didn't say much. Actually I apologized for MY behavior in the past and asked something about Juliet (the ex) but he ignored the question.
So on Tuesday he didn't call or anything so I asked him when shall we meet and he said that he thought that what I wanted to meet for, was to apologize like I already did. So i got really mad and we had a fight over texts.. I told him that I don't care about him anymore and he got angry over that. He said that I shouldn't say such things over anger because he knows that I do care and that he does too, but that he wants to leave all of this behind him. He also said that we can meet but that it won't change anything. So i ended the conversation by saying that I don't want to meet at all, that I just needed to talk to him about this so that I could feel better and that I wanted to hear what he had to say. And that I don't care if we're on good terms or bad ones, that I'm just glad that this is behind me and ended it with a ''have a nice life'' sentence. He didn't respond.

Updates:
But the problem is that I want him back because I miss him, plus I was a real bitch in this relationship. So now I'm following this NO CONTACT rule but I'm afraid that he'll just move on. I mean he's acting totally cold. He doesn't text me or anything, he doesn't even like my pictures on facebook for god's sake.
Tomorrow I'm going to Spain and I'll be there for 20 days and when I come back I'm going to a party that he will attend as well. So what I'm hoping now is that when he sees me at that party all happy and cheerful that he'll want me all over again because I refuse to except that he has no feelings for me anymore. It makes no sense.
And now I would really need your opinion on this... Please help!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I understand your pain and frustration with this. I was also not the best I could have been in my last relationship. So let's focus on helping you. The first thing you have to keep in your mind is the possibility that you're not going to get back together with him. You need to mentally start putting that in your mind so if it happens, you don't take the blow that much harder. I'm going to have you look at a few things when trying to get back together with your ex. How long were you in a relationship? How serious was your relationship? (Big one) Why did you break up? How did you break up? What changes have each of you made since breaking up? What have you tried to do to get your ex back? Knowing these questions for yourself will have you take a look at the picture to see what are the real chances. When people break up, and I suspect he broke up with you, it's hard for them to want to get back together because you might be trying just to prove a point. So prove it to him by sticking to the No Contact rule and follow though. When you text: Hey, just seeing how you're doing? All he's hearing is: I'm miserable without you and need attention. So don't call, don't text, and don't contract him. In fact, cut him off of facebook. Don't beg or try to use pity. A lot of people think if we use pity, they'll feel sorry for us and come back. It's important to be your own person so if they do decide to meet you again to talk about things, make sure it's on your terms too, not just theirs. Be your own person and have respect for yourself. Doing everything your ex says will only drive them away further. I know you want to show him attention but the exact opposite effect occurs. When you break up with someone, you didn't want to be around them, so when they are still blowing up your phone, or constantly showering them with affection, it makes them even more resolved to stay broken up. The biggest one is to freak out when your ex starts to see someone else. This fear that if they date someone else, they'll forget you forever making us react even more desperately than ever. Don't panic. The girl they're seeing is usually nothing serious and won't be any thing serious or a rebound relationship (98% fail rate). If he's seeing someone, it means he's handling the breakup hard. Remember to give your ex plenty of space and don't panic. Try to focus on other people and things for the time being. (difficult I know). Improve yourself. Wait a month before talking to them. Good luck

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    • Thank you so much for this... And to be honest when I texted him I did use ''the pity act''. But I regret it now. And now that I'm going to Spain for 20 days I'll use that time to think about everything. I'll avoid him, I won't even bring my laptop with me. And when I come back I'll look better then ever before. Maybe then he'll realize what he lost?

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    • Or is that a very optimistic way to think...

    • I think of all things you should think optimistically :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • It is extremely rare to be able to maintain a successful friendship with an ex. Jealousy always interferes. You need to move on.

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    • I know. I mean I can't be just friends with him, but I do want him back... I just don't know if he wants me to since he's ignoring me.

    • Why would you go back to somebody when you already know it doesn't work? Your answer is probably, "Because I love him!" Here's something you need to learn: a good relationship needs more than just love. It also needs trust and respect. If you don't have all three, then it probably won't work.

      When you try to reunite with an ex, you almost always discover the same problems you had previously, and it almost always ends the same way, but usually much quicker.

  • "This is about my ex... One day he stopped talking to me out of the blue... I thought that he might need some time to think, since we were constantly fighting... so I let him be"

    ^did u remember then wot xactly happened this day BEFORE he stopped talkin to u?

    " But then 16 days later I saw him on a concert with his friends and ex. They flirted and when he saw me he pushed away from her. "

    ^so he got back to her so quickly? huh...

    so he pushed hmself away i guess in order to not make u assume he started datin her back... possibly

    "After he pushed her away he appeared to have fun with his friends but he was constantly glancing my way. "

    ^ i see... if that's so then it means there's still some interes comin from his side.

    "Obviously I wanted answers so I called him and we arranged to meet on a Tuesday. He asked via text what was this about and I didn't say much. "

    ^guess he pretented he didn't know... he knows i guess wot's this u wanna talk about!

    "So i got really mad and we had a fight over texts.. I told him that I don't care about him anymore and he got angry over that. "

    ^i see... so wot was it dat make u go mad xactly? and also if he got angry, then i assume there's still some interest comin from him as i said above!

    "And that I don't care if we're on good terms or bad ones, that I'm just glad that this is behind me and ended it with a ''have a nice life'' sentence. He didn't respond."

    ^he was still angry then... that's y he didn't respond i believe.

    "I can't stop thinking about the fact that maybe I was the rebound all along."

    ^sorry.. but yeah consider this a possibility :/

    " I also keep comparing myself to her and that's nothing like me. I'm a confidant girl and when it comes to my exes and their new girlfriends I never think twice about them... but now it seems like I can't stop. I know that she's not smarter then me or prettier or anything really. I just know that everyone in this town thinks that she's a whore. So I keep wondering why on earth would he prefer her over me?"

    ^ooops... just noticed this comment now... u made another question a while ago... i responded there as well. anyway as i told u there... try to move on :)

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  • Long story. ... u got too emotional at the end... just cool down, think straight. ... he's lookin for fun for a little bit time, u shouldn't have to tell him to meet on the day after, he obviously knew that u were there n u saw him fukin around and knew that the meeting was to investigate about him.. right? plus.. u shouldn't mention that girl's name... girl.. a kid would know what that meeting is about... so u r doing nothing but pushing him away... so fuk it.. hv fun... fuk around. ... However the feelings towards him is...
    Or...

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    • hahah yeah you're right... I'll have fun and try to forget about it... maybe then he'll realize he made a mistake?

    • Ya hv fun, save me a tequila shot

  • Okay, so what do you want to do? do you want to break up with him and it seems his behaviour has upset you in a big way.

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    • Yes it has upset me... He was also my first serious boyfriend. I want him back but how can I get him if he keeps ignoring me.

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    • Yes, I hope he realizes it before it's too late. Good luck.

    • Thank you, it means a lot :)

What Girls Said 4

  • I think that going to have fun with an ex when you have a boyfriend (regardless what happened with her) is totally not okay and like cheating but since you said that while fighting he mentioned that you both care about each other so maybe it wasn't like what you saw: maybe this Juliet was actually the one that pushed it and was flirting with him and when he saw you he was afraid that you get it wrong so he pushed her away, maybe you should ask his friends (without his knowledge) about what exactly happened there and judge it by yourself if it was HIM then this was the best thing to do but if it was HER then try to find out a way to fix it properly :)

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    • Its just that.. at the concert it looked like they were there together you know... because they left together as well.. :(

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    • Thank you so much... It seems like I'll have to investigate a bit :P

    • Good luck ^_^

  • Forget about him, I know its hard but the faster you lost contact with this guy the faster you will move on, seeing him with other girls is going hurt too much, trust me block him out completely. There is too much of drama between you guys and you're both too different which is why in your arguing he doesn't see your point, just be honest and say you still care and you need to ignore him.

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    • You're right! Thank you, it means a lot! :)

    • No problem I know it sucks, I have been there just keep strong and you will be alright in a bit and keep yourself busy with your friend it will help you not want to talk to him so much and make sure they dont talk about him.

  • There's nothing wrong with fighting for what you what else when it comes to matters of the heart and love... so don't rush things... have a grow up conversation without the arguing and tell him how you can't be without him but you'll give him space to figure things out... but come your party... DRESS TO IMPRESS... knock him dead... show him what he's missing... den plan a romantic day plan something that he'll remember

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  • i think you did the right thing.

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