I can't stop thinking about him altough he hurt me so bad... Any advice, please?

We broke up a month ago. We had a loving and beautiful relationship, which was serious for about 3/4 months. It was one of those unexpected break ups. He started to need time and space, to back off completly and not paying me any attention or giving me any value at all, out of the blue. I gave him all the space he needed but he didn't seem to change, altough he kept saying that he loved me and he wanted to stay with me for his entire life, but that he needed time and space. So we broke up. We haven't talked to each other for a moth now, zero contact. There is no day that I don't think about him, that I don't cry, that I don't miss him. But I can't ever look at him the same way, he was selfish and never cared about my feelings...

What should I do? I keep myself busy all the time, I read, I run, I watch movies, I walk...


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Most Helpful Guy

  • It can be easy to do if you allow yourself and not have any mental restrictions.

    You just need to forget about him and move on. Start talking and being interested in more and different people. Try and avoid everything that reminds you of him for the time being, but obviously you can't avoid everything all the time. You will need to think of other things and people instead of your ex boyfriend.

    Loads of other people say that their ex boyfriend is perfect and whatever, which doesn't help getting over as your making them seem perfect. If you tell yourself someone is perfect, such as your ex or this lover, then eventually you will believe that and will want him and start missing him.

    Also, don't compare him to other guys you see, cos if you think a perfect boyfriend is like your ex, then no one but him will fit your description and you won't be able to move on cos you can't. No two guys are the same, if that makes sense.

    If you need more help, advice or just want to talk feel free to ask or send me a message
    Hope this helps.

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    • You are right. But there are so many things that remind me of him, it's ridiculous.
      Thank you.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I know its hard. I had a guy I have known since I was 10 I'm 20 now. We talk occasionally. Well about a half a year ago we reconnected and we both seemed to like each other things were good but after two months had passed he began talking to me less. We lived like 45 minutes apart and I'm the one Who would drive to him. Well his phone broke and we would go weeks without talking and so I'd text his friends and his best friends girlfriend told me he would say we weren't together and that I was being annoying. Rude I know. Well a lot went down and when all that settled I went to see him. We had sex and it felt passionate to me well the next night when I left he had sex with one of my friends. He told her we were never a thing. Of course I was hurt. I told him we would never be a thing ever again. He has apologized a lot but he hurt me and I have moved on. He still has a special place in my heart but that's all it will ever be. Its knowing how great you are and knowing what you deserve is what will get you through it.

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    • What a story. I hope everything works out and that you'll find happiness. He was so rude... I don't know why people feel the need to hurt us like this, I really don't. Thanks for your advice and kind words. :)

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Well to me you are already doing the right thing, and you did the right thing by breaking up with him, even during the relationship you were very considerate, so don't worry in time this phase will pass.

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    • thank you so much! I just want someone that can truly value me and he didn't know how to do that...

  • Just because he needed time and space didn't mean he didn't loved you. Ik is hard because I have a week that my ex dumped me for her x. I love her I still do even after that but you have to keep going with ur life. Is a laid you'll forget about him or ur relationship between you guys. But as life goes on you'll be able to start feeling freely from what had you attach to him. And you have to try to not to cry. Don't look it as a bad experience that hurt you, just take it as an experienced that thought you a lesson and made you stronger. But you need to give time to ur self as much as need it and little by little you'll block him out. But just know that you'll never will forget about him. But u can get I've him.

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    • Thank you so much for your words and advice. I hope everything works out for you in your life, you sound like a very nice guy. Thank you, again. :)

    • Pleasure :) and I wish that would be the case lol and I hope I something good happen soon. Well I just got dumped like 2 weeks ago. My x left me for her x from middle school.

    • You cheated on me so of course I left you for someone who actually valued me and have me attention.

What Girls Said 1

  • Well it hurts at first all u think about is him and what he made u fell but he was a lesson that tells u that no matter what he ain't gonna be that men u want him to be.

    Ik I'm young but we all have that problem once in our life time. When he did he needs time is Cuz he doesn't know what he wants and wants to know what he needs
    You did the right thing.

    Gust Cuz he left and do sent text u doesn't mean he doesn't love u. there's a part of him that will always love u no matter what. He misses u but he knows he needs time. All the time u give him can be used or wasted. what I mean is that he can waste it to find someone else or he use it to think and listen to his heart.

    If he doesn't come back he was not for u and u going to find someone who is whort all ur time. Don't regret nothing

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    • You are young but you sound like a very mature girl! Thank you for your kind words. I wish you all the luck in the world. I will not regret anything, that's for sure. Thank you :)

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