Was it me or him that caused our relationship to end so suddenly?

My boyfriend (ex sounds too weird right now) and I broke up a few days ago. We started seriously dating about 3 months ago, but were good friends for about a year. He started acting really distant a few weeks ago and I was worried about our relationship, but he insisted everything was fine.

Our relationship was incredibly intense and moved quickly at the beginning, but the last few weeks it's been stagnant and he stopped opening up to me. Just a month or so ago we were talking a lot about the future, like the trip we planned and me moving into an apartment closer to his side of town (which I was planning prior to us dating).

He has battled depression and anxiety for most of his life, but I've never seen him act like this. I don't know if that's what caused his recent change in behavior or if it was me. A few of our friends mentioned his behavior being different too.

Saturday night we were supposed to see a movie we've been talking about for a while. I didn't hear from him all day (which is weird) so I asked him at 6:30 if we were still on. He didn't text back for over an hour, and the next movie showing was really late. Our friends had talked about going out, so he asked if I wanted to do that instead. I told him yes and that I was headed to the bar where we were all meeting. He didn't text back, so after being there with our friends for over 30 minutes I asked if he was coming. Nothing. I'm sure the alcohol didn't help, but I broke down. I told a couple of our girlfriends what was going on and I just couldn't stop crying. He eventually showed up after another friend text him and we went outside to talk. I told him the lack of communication was frustrating me and I didn't know what was going on because we aren't talking like we used to. After a lot of talking and crying (on both our parts) he told me he doesn't see a future with me and he doesn't have the same feelings anymore. Did I push him away or could it be his depression that caused this?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Drinking drugs or trama or illness are the 3 main causes of sudden change

    • I didn't know that, but it would clarify things a little

Most Helpful Girl

  • Sorry for your loss but the truth is, relationships fizzle out sometimes. Not all of them are going to last for ever. He probably felt bad about ending it but it's for the best because you guys fell out of love or whatever.
    No big deal, brush yourself off and move on. You will feel better soon enough :)

    • They do, I've been through a couple that have just fizzled out. It's never been this quick though... It's just left me super confused and hurt. Maybe you're right, I've just never had a relationship be so passionate and intense and end so suddenly out of the blue

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • I honestly don't think it was you at all. I'm not sure if it's his depression coming into play or cold feet about planning a future (which all guys get) but I don't think any woman who's in a stable relationship would be okay with their significant other just dropping them like a hot rock with no explanation or pretense at all.

  • Oh boy I'm going through the same thing I don't know what to tell you, wish I had the answer

    • I'm sorry girl, this is the worst part of dating.