How do I start enjoying being by myself again?

We were living together for 3 years and broke up 4 months ago. He dumped me because he got bored and wanted to be single again. It broke my heart to piecies, but I am slowly starting to let go of him. I am very introvert person and I don't make friends easily. I used to be much more outgoing but the more I grew the more I realized I'm happier with less people I know. For those 3 years he was my everything, I was happy just with him and couple of good friends. I have a good job and I loved my life. I would come home to him and we would always do something, it was never boring! Then sometimes on the weekends we would go out with those couple of friends (who are also couples), or we would travel somewhere or visit our families. We did everything together. And it's not because I was so in love that I forgot about other people, I am just like that and been like that from when I was 17. I hardly let someone in, I am very picky when it comes to people, but once I start liking them it's usually a bond that lasts forever. I developed that bond with him and I am so lost now... I used to be totally fine by myself but now it's terrible. He was my first serious relationship and first guy I lived with. I lived with my parents before him, now I live alone. I really don't want to go back to my parents, but living alone here without him is crushing me. Everything is still reminding me of him and I can't even make myself to watch a movie because it's not with him. My food is not as tasty anymore because is not for him too. I am sad everytime I come home from work because he is not there and it's not gonna come back. I feel so empty. And so bored. I know you will tell me to make some new hobbies, but I already did and it doesn't help. Also I don't want to go meet other people. I just want to start enjoying being by myself again. I don't have any motivation. Any tips?


Most Helpful Guy

  • Set yourself a new goal to achieve and go smash it


Most Helpful Girl

  • "He was my everything" <---THIS is why you're feeling unmotivated... you lost yourself in the relationship.

    In order to feel better, you have to focus on yourself first. Set goals for the next few months (fitness goals, beauty, career, etc). Focus on making yourself a "new"/ best version of you. Watch a Victoria's Secret fashion show, and see how those girls ooze confidence and are totally full of themselves. Sounds shallow and superficial - but you have to be a little full of yourself to be more independent emotionally.

    Second, get the book "Art of Seduction" by Robert Greene. It helps level set your emotions and outlook on love and relationships. And prepares you for your next relationship

    Third, even if your heart isn't in it, and you're not emotionally in the mood, STILL put yourself in a position to meet someone new. Whether online or one of those Meetup groups. And don't limit yourself to just one person... Personally I like Tinder lol (just avoid the guys who are obviously only after sex). Meeting someone new and feeling a little spark of excitement when you click with someone is part of the healing process.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 4

  • This is so sad, he shouldn't have done this , it is so unfair to just detattach someone like that, the only to feel better is to go through all the pain and saddness, cry a lot and feel down , dont fight it, and slowly you will feel a little better, just know he is so cruel for doing that :s

  • Thats so sad and heartbreaking to read. I'm sorry that this happened to you and that you're hurt like this.
    But maybe there is a silver lining in all of this. This could be an opportunity to be more independent. I know this is really what you don't want to hear right now, but maybe you should try being by yourself (meaning without a spouse) for a little while.
    For the meantime, don't be afraid to just be a little sad. It's okay to hurt, be sad, and be angry. Just empty out your emotions then you can focus on you.
    You need some time before you can be okay. But when it happens, it will happen.
    Trust me, you will be fine.

  • This is exactly how I felt when my boyfriend of 2 years dumped me some months ago... he was my everything. We lived together. He left to be with someone else.
    I realized that time was the only thing that helped at the end. One step forward to loving myself again every day. I'm still going forward... I feel a bit better every day.

    • Oh my god , he is an animal , i am sorry dear ♡ , it must have hurt you a lot, i have been there , the worst feeling ever , i hope u are feeling better

  • you just have to give it time.


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