Dated a guy for two years. Loved him, met family and friends, talked marriage. Then we started fighting constantly. He said he was "exhausted" and we agreed to break up. Returned his things and didn't hear from him for three weeks.
After three weeks, he texted me a question. I'd implemented no contact and ignored him. Two weeks after he texted to ask me a question. Not knowing what the question was, I thought maybe he needed something (forgot belongings at my house, or work-related because we were coworkers, but I've left the company). He asked questions about what went wrong, and I first said I didn't have time (I was busy) but basically that I'm not here to help him become a better man for the next girl. I ended up giving in (my big mistake) and answering his question. Then, the next day, he asks if we can get together for a few drinks sometime. I said no, that I'm not ready to be friends, and he told me to call him if I change my mind.
As I see it, he is only reaching out to see if I will be his friend, or friend with benefits. I'm dying inside because I loved this man and fully expected a proposal one day (without pressuring it out of him - which I know is an awful thing to do). He is happily living life, seeing friends, etc. I have also invested myself heavily in hobbies, friends, family, and counseling. But my sadness and disappointment seem all-consuming, especially since I stupidly answered his texts.
I will never be able to be friends with him. I will always want more.
How can I get over this insensitive man who has wasted so much of my love and time, FOREVER? I was doing so well until he contacted me, and then hope strung me out to sea and left me there to drown in my own stupidity.
Most Helpful Guy
Just all contact, and remove all existence of him from your life, block his number etc.0
Most Helpful Girl
... I was doing so well until he contacted me... Insensitive man who has wasted so much of my love and time, FOREVER?
You Basically have Answered your own Questions here, dear, and you are right when you said a Mouthful "I'm not ready to be friends."
He Obviously is pulling at your heart strings so do Not make yourself his Enabler for What he really is seeking now and this is "Friends with benefits."
You said so yourself that he is 'Happily living life, seeing friends, etc.' But one thing he IS Missing and this is the Kissing and the history you both shared and he wants his cake and eat it Two. I do not believe he wants to be two birds of a feather who stick Entirely together.
Tell him you are busy, you are sorry and you will be in touch ONLY when your clear your Schedule... Have a nice day.
Once you push the button on your end to Push a few of His, you will Not have him eating out of your hand, he will just Have... The Upper hand, this man.
Good luck. xx0