How can I kindly dump a girl?

I have been seeing a girl for a few weeks now. She's very sweet and a nice person, but last weekend we had sex for the first time. And without going into details, I really don't want to again. I want to be honest, but I don't want to hurt her feelings. Any suggestions?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • With whatever way, @Dave24, that you Decide to tell her, whether it is face to face, or even on the phone, Make sure you let her down easy so you will Not hurt her to the point where she Feels it is All her fault That... I kindly dump her.
    Explain to her that you feel that you are Not ready for Anything heavy nor steady and that with 'Seeing a girl for a few weeks now,' you realize you don't want this to go any further and you think it best that you are this Honest John with her.
    If she cries the blues and mentions the Sex, tell her with a light and sweet tone that it had Nothing to do with That, it's just You that 'Really don't want' Anything but being friends.
    Good luck. xx

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Most Helpful Guy

  • So here's a thing, the only reason you want to be nice is for your own selfish sake. You don't want to feel "mean".

    If you do it rough and abrupt, you are mean in the short run but she will get on with her life faster and it is better in the long run for her mental well being, though you will never see that.

    If you do it sweetly and over a period of time, you are nice in the short run and you will feel good, but she will get hung up on you and it will waste a lot of her time when she could be finding the man of her dreams. You'll never see the lasting negative impact you have on her life, but at least you'll keep your mind all happy.

    You're either a villain now and a hero later, or a hero now and a villain later.
    Be a villain for her sake or a hero for your own.

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What Girls Said 7

  • Just out of curiosity, if you don't mind me asking... why don't you? "want to again?"?

    Anyway~... even in the kindest way you can find, it would still make her feel like shit, taking into consideration that you're doing it after you've had sex with her... I think for most girls, irrelevant to how nice or how kind you do it, it will seem as if that was all you were looking for... which will make her feel awful... even if your reason have nothing at all to do with just wanting sex or not... so in my opinion, there is no kind way to do it, she'll feel horrible anyway~..

    Just be honest. Tell her the truth... ? Maybe You're not feeling a connection? but I'm sure you could have been able to tell if that was the case, before having sex...

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  • Just be honest with her. Tell her you want to talk about something and meet up. Explain to her that you don't really feel that special spark and would rather that she finds someone who can appreciate her better. She'll likely be upset and all that but at least you were the good person here who spoke the truth and didn't waste her time. Plus doing it in person is just the respectful thing.

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  • there is no kind way
    take her out and say it. at least be honest. she will be mad at you but it will go

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  • Just tell her you want different things or your not ready to date at the moment, whatever you have to to be nice and gentle about it. And if it was bad for you-was probably just as bad for her.

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  • I wouldn't be honest. Tell her you just want to be friends.

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  • Dont base anything off with the first time you had sex. The first time it's weird and bad for most people. You can't just dump someone after having sex it's just rude

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  • tel her that maybe y'all should just stick to being friends and slowly distance ur sef

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What Guys Said 2

  • thomaslarock.com/.../dumpsville1.jpg

    Just dump her like you would any other girl.

    "It's been great spending time with you but I am not feeling a connection, so I think it's best if we end it here."

    I've used that, or variants thereof, and had them used on me.

    In a way, you are being honest - when you connect your genitals with hers, something isn't right. Being bad at sex could well be subjective, so don't go into detail or say anything that could be taken as a personal attack.

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  • Be honest totally, it helps her move on quicker, especially if she thinks your a knob after you break up.
    Drop your balls and wear the guilt yourself, so what if you feel bad, it's better for you both in the long run

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