I caught my ex texting another with a other dude. She was telling him about things we did over the weekend but instead of saying boyfriend, she said hanging with the girls. When I confronted her about it, she said he gets jealous and didn't want to hurt his feelings. I call bullshit. I broke it off and admit I wasn't exactly nice about it. I ignored her for a week or 2... then I was using coarse language and basically being a jerk. I'm not proud of what I did, but I feel like, I didn't create this mess.
Most Helpful Girl
Was this girl your girlfriend at the time?
If she was,
I don't understand the logic that she was trying to protect someone else's feelings but instead ended up hurting yours.
That doesn't make anything better.
I think there's more to the story than she is telling you.
Perhaps, she really likes this man and knows if she said "boyfriend" he wouldn't want to be bothered with her.
She thought she could hide this but it pretty much blew up in her face, now she is trying to play the victim role.
You both cannot undo the past.
But in order for things to get better she needs to admit her wrong doings and then you can move forward (if you choose to).2
Most Helpful Guy
Being angry and saying unpleasant things during a breakup is something I have done in the past. I think it is a quite human response to feeling hurt, betrayed, lied to, having been taken advantage of, etc. However, I have tried to control my anger response and keep it in check because good things rarely result from expressing that anger. In my recent divorce, I sad something out of anger on one occasion but I otherwise did not call my wife names or say things just for the purpose of hurting her. I may have said things that hurt her, but if so, it was an unintended consequence. I feel better now that I handled myself in that way, so. . . if you want to get a handle on your angry response, don't try to justify it on the basis of what your partner deserves; do it because you want to be a nicer person and like yourself more.1