Did I blow things out of proportion?

I caught my ex texting another with a other dude. She was telling him about things we did over the weekend but instead of saying boyfriend, she said hanging with the girls. When I confronted her about it, she said he gets jealous and didn't want to hurt his feelings. I call bullshit. I broke it off and admit I wasn't exactly nice about it. I ignored her for a week or 2... then I was using coarse language and basically being a jerk. I'm not proud of what I did, but I feel like, I didn't create this mess.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Was this girl your girlfriend at the time?

    If she was,
    I don't understand the logic that she was trying to protect someone else's feelings but instead ended up hurting yours.
    That doesn't make anything better.

    I think there's more to the story than she is telling you.
    Perhaps, she really likes this man and knows if she said "boyfriend" he wouldn't want to be bothered with her.

    She thought she could hide this but it pretty much blew up in her face, now she is trying to play the victim role.

    You both cannot undo the past.
    But in order for things to get better she needs to admit her wrong doings and then you can move forward (if you choose to).

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Most Helpful Guy

  • Being angry and saying unpleasant things during a breakup is something I have done in the past. I think it is a quite human response to feeling hurt, betrayed, lied to, having been taken advantage of, etc. However, I have tried to control my anger response and keep it in check because good things rarely result from expressing that anger. In my recent divorce, I sad something out of anger on one occasion but I otherwise did not call my wife names or say things just for the purpose of hurting her. I may have said things that hurt her, but if so, it was an unintended consequence. I feel better now that I handled myself in that way, so. . . if you want to get a handle on your angry response, don't try to justify it on the basis of what your partner deserves; do it because you want to be a nicer person and like yourself more.

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What Girls Said 3

  • ... I caught my ex texting another with a other dude...
    It seems she pushed a few bull buttons on Your own end, @Pk777, and I do Not blame you at all for Being... A jerk.
    She was in the wrong for Not Explaining you on her own end and if she was a girlfriend to begin with and Now is Your "EX," maybe it is time to leave well enough along, let her do some soul searching of not having you around and maybe Next time, being taught this little lesson, she will Think Twice Before... She texts to Another instead of saying boyfriend.
    Give yourself some space to do your own thinking. If there have been other Instances that have gotten your hair in a tither, perhaps with this Break, time for a Breakup so you can find someone who is More deserving.
    In the future, no need to get so heated that the 'Coarse language' is called for. You can use Actions that are louder than words to make your point go across and to Make... A good point as well.
    Good luck. xx

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  • why did she text him in the first place? did she do it a lot? if she didn't then you do sound like you overreacted.

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    • She texted him about going to a nice restaurant with me, but instead of me, she said she went with her girls. She also invited him to the park to run when I was at work, and he invited her to breakfast. They made comments about smoking weed, which she knows I am against, and lied to me about her use. She also started seeing this guy soon after our split. Rebound, vulnerable, trash? Who knows...

    • oh... so she's been planning to go out with him for awhile now! then no, I don't think you overreacted. but you should mentioned all that in your q!

  • Yeah, she was cheating on you, you did the right thing. Move on, she can't be trusted.

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What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah I think you did bud

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  • Sounds like you're a reasonable person.

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