My 4 years boyfriend broke up with me 10 days ago cuz he said he loves me more like a sister, will he come back?

We had been dating for 3 years 9 months, back to 9 month ago, I found him flirting with his colleague, then we had a fight, he told me " maybe we should break up, cuz I feel I love you more like loving a sister!". Then I cried so badly, he saw me cry then said "ok, let's try if this relationship works!". So we didn't break up, but in the past year, we rarely had sex, like once a month. 10 days ago, he came back from his colleague's birthday brunch, he told me he had feelings for that girl, for almost one year, and he loves me more like a sister. So I cried and we broke up. The first week after broke up I was so sad, I called him every second and message him a lot, but he didn't answer my call any more after he moved out of our flat. I have been calling him and message him for one week, even use myself to threaten him ( which is stupid). So now he blocked me on Facebook and everywhere. I can find him any more. When I was with him, he was always so nice, we did have pour fights, but generally we got along. It's been 10 days and I'm really suffering. Anyone knows would be come back or its forever over?
Ps: yesterday when I spoke to him, he told me clearly " I have been thinking for a week, and I don't think we are meant to be with each other, this relationship is forever over!". But I still have hope hat maybe he would come back?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Leave it. Find a new person. I had this with my last ex. I fell out of love with her and yeah, saw her as a sister. No matter what I did to make it otherwise, I still wanted to cheat on her constantly and other women caught my eye more than her. Do you want this? Ms second best till death do us part? No. Move on.

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    • Hi thanks for the advice. It's been a month since we moved up and yeah I'm trying to move on and never really try to think back! Sometimes I still wonder if he would ever come back, but I don't think I would take him even if he does!!

Most Helpful Girl

  • ... I feel I love you more like loving a sister!
    He has now come clean with you, @Lily169, and with All the writing on the wall that you have Openly Admitted here, dear, it is quite clear he means it when he Says... I don't think we are meant to be with each other, this relationship is forever over.
    I am so sorry to be the bearer of bad news but with someone who is treating you more like a sibling than a soul mate, he isn't just hymning and hawing, he is Meaning Business with even Blocking you 'Everywhere,' and this Includes you right out of his heart and hair.
    I would have more hopes for Him and you if you had called it off and Still had love between you as a two birds of a feather, but he has come right out, being this Honest John, and with what he has said, put him out of your mind, this relationship has gone south.
    Focus on you now. Lick your war wounds and Begin your own Beguine of Moving on now.
    I don't feel the Past '3 years9 months' were a total waste of your time but mourning Forever.. Is.
    Good luck and my blessings for a brighter future with someone more deserving. xx

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I feel for ya, stay strong! It's really not the end of the world if he doesn't come back but I totally understand. But sounds like you pushed him away a little with all the calls and message and such... It's not easy to control but you have to give him space and time. He might decide he misses you, but you shouldn't pin your hopes on it! don't let him pick you up and throw you away just cos he's loanly in the next few weeks/months. Good luck

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    • Thanks Schnikies, its been 11 days and I still miss&thinking of him like crazy. But hopefully time heals everything and I can move on as soon as possbile

    • Show All
    • Well... There are soooo many factors but, I think I wouldn't come back in the same way. Something would have to happen to make me realise what a mistake I made. And that might never happen or by the time it did it could be too late anyway.

    • Thanks Schnikies, I think I know what I'm gonna do now. Move on, cuz that's the only way! Me and him will have no future, so I have to move on! Thanks again for all your advice.

  • Hey hey if you need to talk message me. Sounds like you could use someone

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What Girls Said 6

  • As hard as it is to accept, he has no interest in pursuing this. He tried for a while for your sake, not his... that's why it was so different (lack of sex, etc). He was ok with hanging on unless something better came along and for him, it did.

    You can't break out of the "brotherly /sisterly" thing. It is worse than friend zone.

    It hurts when the one you love doesn't love you. The best way to deal is to face the truth head on, grieve, and move forward.

    He has told you how he feels, as painful as it is. Holding out hope will only hurt you more in the end. You will find yourself clinging to false signs and getting your heart broken over and over.

    Wish him well, and do not contact him again. You can't control how he feels, but you CAN control how you react.

    Delete his info. Sure, you know it by heart but the time it takes to look up his info/punch it in, you will have time to stop before you send the message. It helps.

    Best of luck to you, I hope your heart minds soon.

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  • Hasn't anyone thought you how guys show love?
    No he doesn't love you and no he won't be coming back. He probably never did love you and stayed with you for sex. Is that what you want? Someone who doesn't love you?

    I'm sorry for your bad experience, but you need to take time for yourself and find a way to let go forever. This situation couldn't be more clear cut it you made it up.

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    • When we were in our first 2 years, he did love me and I could tell. By starting from the third year, his loves goes away and he started to love me more like a family.

    • Well then, time to look for new love...

  • I don't think he will come back. Time to go the no contact root. It won't be easy but it will be for the best. If you have to take it one day at a time, and focus on other things. It will get easier everyday that goes by trust me.

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  • I'm sorry but I'm pretty sure it's over.

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  • he sounds like he meant it. don't cry too much over him, since he treated you like that.

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  • I'm sorry you have to go through this but you need to accept that it is over. It sounds like your relationship died a slow death: he stayed for nine months to give it another try, he says he thought about it again and doesn't see it working between you two. So it's not like he made a decision in the heat of the moment without actually thinking things through. I'm sorry, I know this is not what you want to read.

    It's hard when a relationship ends, especially after four years. You need to keep yourself busy, concentrate on yourself, learn that there IS a life without him, and it's not a bad life at all. You existed before he entered your life, you will continue to exist. I also want to urge you to stop calling him and texting him all the time. It is harassment and I know you don't intend anything bad by that, but you wouldn't be the first to get reported to the police. Delete his number from your phone if you must.

    It'll take a while to get over it and I won't lie: it will hurt. You will cry, you will feel miserable, empty, like there's no point in anything. But most of us have been there and guess what? We all got over it. It takes time. Hang in there!

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