Is it over for me and my ex-boyfriend of almost 4 years?

I need some help asap! Me and my ex-boyfriend have been dating for almost 4 years now so now he suddenly decides he doesn't want me anymore. Instead he goes back to his ex-girlfriend that he dated for a month. We have broke up some over these years but the longest was the month when he started dating the girl which I just explained. the last time they were dating was about 3 months ago but now they are back together and have been for about a week and a half now and he hasn't even bothered to try to get in touch with me or anything like that. Maybe I'm just being selfish but I just miss him. We broke up because I told him we never spend anytime together and he never wanted to talk to me hardly any, so I'm assuming he was talking to her during this situation. So he agreed with the breakup, but I didn't think this would actually be the end of it. I talked things over with him the next day and told him ever ounce of detail that came from my heart telling him how I felt about him but it didn't even seem to bother him, though he did cry a little but didn't really show any signs of hurt. I texted him the day after, but he told me to quit texting him so I did, though later that day he texted me so I told him "Why are you texting me wen you told me I wasn't apart of your life anymore?" so he said "Ok ill stop". So every since then I haven't heard or talked to him since. I see him at school but all he does is look and walk on by. I'm a senior this year and ever since our freshman year we have always talked about how we wanted to get married and everything like that. And now were nothing. If you could give me ANY advice on what to do I would GREATLY appreciate it because I love him so much and I don't want to lose him. Its been about a week and a half now and still haven't heard anything. Most of the time when we break up and he talks to someone else he at least still talks to me. Is it to late and should I just give up?

Updates:
CORRECTION: He just texted me and said "How you doing?" shew now I don't know what to do!
i decided to text him last night so we got to talking so instead he told me just to call him so we talked things over and he said he don't think we can work things out because we just can't get along so now but he said he is still with his ex girlfriend.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • "Instead he goes back to his ex-girlfriend that he dated for a month"

    - "Red Flag" #1

    "We have broke up some over these years"

    - "Red Flag" #2

    "he hasn't even bothered to try to get in touch with me or anything like that."

    - "Red Flag" #3

    "he never wanted to talk to me hardly any, so I'm assuming he was talking to her during this situation."

    - "Red Flag(s)" #4 + #5

    Here's the issues in this relationship:

    - He hasn't gotten over his feelings for previous relationships

    - You have been assuming things during this relationship (Rightfully so IMO)

    - There's no communication throughout the relationship

    etc

    [ My Advice for You ]

    - Move on.

    There's no reason to pursue this guy (other than you loving him) when everything presents itself - "how it has". This guy is currently with another girl, his ex specifically. Trying to chase him and play these games of how you both care about each other- but want to date other people- simply this won't work.

    I dated someone for the same time period (4 years) and my personal opinion is that now we have separated which has brought us closer as friends. In the future, we could always get back together because we are at a clean slate (no emotional attachment) which keeps a grip of those hurt feelings.

    I hope it helps~

    ArtistBBoy

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    • " You have been assuming things during this relationship (Rightfully so IMO)

      - There's no communication throughout the relationship"

      Date him in the moment. Communicate your confusion about what's been happening and give him the benefit of the doubt. Let him know that you do care, but you are scared of being used.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • I think your communication approach needs to change.

    Instead of saying:"Why are you texting me when you told me that I wasn't part of my life anymore?" you should say""You told me that I am not part of your life any more though I would, of course, like us to be together. Should I interpret your sending me texts as your desire to be back together?"

    Also, instead of complaining that he hardly talked to you, you should have tried to find out what he likes to talk about and tried talking.

    He has gone back to his ex. They had broken up earlier. So, it is quite possible that they will break up again and he can come back to you. You should remain in touch.

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    • He texted me once on the 22nd and asked how I was doing but I didn't text him back which I regret now because I wish I wouldve and he hasn't texted me since. my friend said he brought his girlfriend over to his house for christmas dinner so he must like her a lot :(

  • This relationship was doomed a long time ago.

    You come across as clingy and manipulative.

    He's become calloused to drama; that's the reason it 'didn't seem to bother him".

    There is no advice to give; learn from this and move on.

    Ted

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  • forget about that dude. if he has no interest in you anymore, its time to let him go and move on. This gives you a chance to meet someone new that can make you happy again.

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  • He cried it means a lot.

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    • I just don't understand why he hasn't even tryed calling me or texting me. I just think he's already over me because as soon as we broke up he went straight to her.

    • Did you cheat on him?

What Girls Said 1

  • this has happened to me and come to find out he was just putting on a little act once he heard I was moving he came running back so quick he dropped every girl and was at my house everyday and begged me not to go

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