I broke up with my girlfriend and she made me feel really guilty, but I think I did the right thing?

We were forced to go long distance and live on the other side of the world from one another. I found it very difficult to maintain a LDR and often felt more miserable than happy with the way things going. After a while I realised that the way my life was at the moment, being a full time student and only being 22 years old I couldn't committ to a serious, long distance relationship. I told her over Skype and tried to be as nice about it as possible but it blew up into a big argument. I explained that I couldn't give her what she really wanted because at this point in our lives it isn't realistic and she just started calling me selfish and saying that she regretted the whole relationship.

I really enjoyed our relationship, I was optimistic about a LDR but sadly it didn't work out. The way she reacted and the things she said to me made me feel a lot more down. Did I do the right thing?

Updates:
Thank you for the replies, I know deep down I did the right thing I just wish it didn't have to end on bad terms

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Most Helpful Girl

  • You did do the right thing, if you're more unhappy than happy. However we are use to hearing that the other person can't give them blah blah blah when the truth is also she's not giving you what YOU need, it's okay to put yourself first, it's okay to be selfish, so perhaps in making her feel like you're not giving her "enough" you could say you weren't happy, and personally if someone told me they were unhappy in a relationship I would care MORE ABOUT THEM, and let them go. Instead you switched it around which could've made her feel terrible. x

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Most Helpful Guy

  • You did the right thing man.

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What Girls Said 4

  • LDR is One of the hardest to Have and to Uphold of Any, @turkokturok4, for I know this probably better than anyone here, dear. I still have a husband out in Egypt whom married and lived with for awhile in Cairo, and being back in the states, I have not gone back in a very long while to be with him because of all the problems worsening in the Middle East. However, we still manage to stay together and with every breakup, is a Makeup.
    It takes two special people to tango and tangle this kind of relationship, and if only One is making the effort and taking the time and patience in Working on this, then the other is Not a team member, and it can go dead real quick in the water like a fish out of water.
    I find you are young, however very smart in being an Honest John with her, making no lame duck excuses. Of course it isn't going to end well, you can tell, but the truth had to come out, rather than you play hide and seek behind the computer curtain when she is on Skype and You.. Are not.
    Don't feel too guilty although I know you have a heart and are feeling bad and sad. She is just the One here who would have swam high waters for you in this LDR but it won't work to Anyone's Advantage when there is just One... team player.
    Good luck and my blessings to find someone closer to home and to your own heart. xx

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  • You will never know if you did the right thing. In my opinion, If you love her and distance is the only problem, then you didn't do the right thing. So I think that you don't love her, and that's what she is probably thinking as well. It takes a really strong and patient personality to overcome distance, which you obviously don't have. Why not closing the distance? She moves to you or you move to her. So what if you are a student? Let her get find a job and then get a flat and live together, the end. It doesn't have to be a dream job and it doesn't have to be this moment, but it's a good way of keeping the spark between the two of you - something to look forward to. I know you are thinking that is easier said then done, but I've been there. I was with my boyfriend 3 years in a LDR, it started that way. It was really really hard and I worked my ass off the move there. It took so much time and we thought about breakup many times. The only the most important thing that kept us together was the communication and the fact that we wanted the same thing - to live together. Then I finally got an opportunity for a job there and they took me. We've been living together for almost a year now and I've never been happier. He is also in school and we are sometimes tight with money and taxes, but we are at least together. The plan is for him to finish with school and get a job. And then we will see. Every day brings new things.
    I would regret forever if we broke up back then. All the things I went through made me so much stronger and more mature. Everyone thought that what I want is a make believe dream and no one took me serious. I must admit that me myself didn't believe it will come true, but I kept going with it. And then when i finally got that offer, I felt and I proved to myself that really everything is possible when you want it badly enough. But you can't just sit at home and wish for it, you must make an effort. And once you make it, you will feel unstoppable. People are not aware of how much they can achieve, so they bow down to fear and give away their dreams. That's why there are so many unhappy people. Like you. You let the thing that can be solved make you unhappy, and instead of dumping the fear you dumped her. Don't really know what to say...
    Anyways, she probably didn't mean what she said. She is shocked and heartbroken because she believed, but she knows it takes two. She just needs to time to heal, it's not you that she hates, it's the distance.

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  • Yes you did do the right thing. You had to do what was best for you.. and her because you were being honest. If you two are meant to be, you will be together again in the future. If not, she'll be so thankful to you for setting her free once her Mr. Right comes along. :)

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  • No! Distance means so little when it comes to the one you love.. If distance is enough to end it you never really loved her!

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