How can I let go of an ex who cheated and should I forgive the girl who knowingly pursued him?

My ex hooked up with a girl we work with before we started dating. Nobody knew as they were both drunk, he regretted it as he knew she liked him and he didn't want more. They agreed just be friends and he refused to sleep with her again as he didn't want her to get more attached and hurt her.
Fast forward months later and he and I are dating after he persued me vigorously for over a month before I agreed to dinner. He tells me about such girl straight up. Asks me if I want him to stop seeing her as friends (they have mutal friends so had group things). I'm not the kind of girlfriend to dictate so say no its fine but I don't want them hanging out alone or drinking togther. Such girl constantly messages him, he ingores/brushes her off (shows me the texts), she starts getting all depressed crying about it, posting stuff on facebook etc.
He continues to ignore her (or so he says) but starts replying a little when she starts sending crying voicemails to him.
I break my foot in a car accident and am unable to go out and do things. (Can still have sex so he was still getting that)
Such girl finds out about my broken foot and starts messaging my ex to hangout more and more. They start to go places. I didn't know at the time. They sleep together again. He freaks out cuts off contact for a few weeks. She texts him constantly during this time and offers him friends with benefits if he dumbs me. I didn't know this to later.
Me who is usually a very active, indepedant person (run daily, yoga, hiking, supported myself since I was 17 etc) is pretty much confined to bed and starting to get a little depressed as I had to reply on people (couldn't drive, clean my house fully etc). I will admit I was getting a little needy and our time together wasn't spent like it used to be with me showing him a non-local around town, hiking, festivals etc instead we were pretty much having awkward missionary sex and watching movies.
He dumbs me whilst I


Most Helpful Guy

  • Honestly I would boot both of them out a your life !
    you don't deserve to be treated like that! you deserve so much better. and if he slept with her a 2nd time after you two are dating, he cheated on your with the dumb bod and she tell him to leave you for a friends with benefits relationship. wow so NOT COOL!!
    you a tough gel bin on your own since 17. don't let them walk all over you.

    • Thanks for the reply. I had more added to it but it got cut off.
      The girl who cheated with him has bipolar and was in one of her lows when she pursue him. Apparently she saw him as the solution to making herself feel better and apparently he told her things with him and I weren't serious despite us planning trips, talking about moving in together and having met each others families.
      I'm not sure whether to believe this or not.
      What do you think?
      I'm not sure if she was genuinely in a bad way or is just manipulating me into feeling sorry for her and forgiving her

Most Helpful Girl

  • forgive them both and move on.


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What Girls Said 1

  • Forgive him but don't be with him


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