So a while back my boyfriend received a text from his ex while we were talking. They broke up over a year ago, but she still occasionally texts him. She blames him for her inability to date (he broke up with her). I understand some people need someone to blame, but she's a grown woman (27+).
My problem is, he still has her number in his phone. I didn't mention it, but that bothers me. Am I out of line? I cut off all contact with my ex's. I feel that's natural and healthy. Should I ignore it, or casually mention it if it happens again? I don't want to blow it out of proportion.
- It's fine, you're overreactingVote A
- That's not okay for him to talk to her- talk to him about it if it happens againVote B
- It's not a big deal, but casually mention it if it happens again.Vote C
Most Helpful Guy
Here's the difference, which is why I voted C
If he were to be talking with her, trying to meet up behind your back, and holding a second relationship to you - then I would vote D: "Tell him to fhk off"
BUT he's not doing that... Here's what I got from what you've said, He is:
- Accepting the blame for her inability to pursue relationships
- Has his number in his phone
- (this one I made up because I bet it's true) occasionally he talks with her on a general basis
It would be over-reacting to say: "Omfg you still talk to her! What the F___!? You should delete her now or else I'm gonna break up with you, because you don't love me" |OR| "I don't understand why you still have her as a friend, she is a complete B____ and she doesn't care about you. She was using you and I love you... So why do you still have her added"
It would be very pleasant if you could approach it like:
"Honey, it really bugs me that she puts you down as her rationalization why she cannot date anyone. I like that you try and help people - you're really sweet, but this is her time to improve herself. When she calls you - I worry about our relationship"
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