So a while back my boyfriend received a text from his ex while we were talking. They broke up over a year ago, but she still occasionally texts him. She blames him for her inability to date (he broke up with her). I understand some people need someone to blame, but she's a grown woman (27+).

My problem is, he still has her number in his phone. I didn't mention it, but that bothers me. Am I out of line? I cut off all contact with my ex's. I feel that's natural and healthy. Should I ignore it, or casually mention it if it happens again? I don't want to blow it out of proportion.


  • It's fine, you're overreacting
    Vote A
  • That's not okay for him to talk to her- talk to him about it if it happens again
    Vote B
  • It's not a big deal, but casually mention it if it happens again.
    Vote C
Select age and gender to cast your vote:
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here's the difference, which is why I voted C

    If he were to be talking with her, trying to meet up behind your back, and holding a second relationship to you - then I would vote D: "Tell him to fhk off"

    BUT he's not doing that... Here's what I got from what you've said, He is:

    - Accepting the blame for her inability to pursue relationships

    - Has his number in his phone

    - (this one I made up because I bet it's true) occasionally he talks with her on a general basis

    It would be over-reacting to say: "Omfg you still talk to her! What the F___!? You should delete her now or else I'm gonna break up with you, because you don't love me" |OR| "I don't understand why you still have her as a friend, she is a complete B____ and she doesn't care about you. She was using you and I love you... So why do you still have her added"

    It would be very pleasant if you could approach it like:

    "Honey, it really bugs me that she puts you down as her rationalization why she cannot date anyone. I like that you try and help people - you're really sweet, but this is her time to improve herself. When she calls you - I worry about our relationship"

    Best regards,



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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • well I don't know its normal to keep in contact with peple you know and it doesn't sound like he still likes her anyways , some guys just don't like to delete there phone numbers even if they don't talk to the people much anywyas if at all , I know I have some numbers I never use but still wouldn't delete them

  • You are simply over reacting, she obviously till likes him. But if he had any interest in her he would be intiating coversation with her. Ex's can be friends, one just needs to knwo where to draw the line on the friendship.


What Girls Said 1

  • i still talk to one of my ex's sometimes because I'm still friends with him. just because you break up with someone, it doesn't mean you hafta cut them out of ur life entirely. if he starts to treat her like more than just a friend/someone to pity, then you should obviously be worried. I mean, I would be! :)

    talk to him if you wanna, it can't hurt to straighten things out. just make sure you don't jump to conclusions when ur talking to him, or he'll get offended even if you don't mean to be offensive.


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