Why are younger people so gutsy to break up and leave their significant others?

I just saw a woman in her forties talking about how she had a person on here 18-24 telling her to break up with her SO of five years because she didn't want to meet his father. Now the reason she doesn't want to meet his father, she says, is because she feels that her SO doesn't want marriage...(at least not at the moment). She says her best answer came from someone in their 30's who "understands divorce", etc, and that got me thinking and made me consider the fact that maybe younger people break up easier, and it certainly seems like that.

Most people in their teens and twenties are not at all afraid to break up over the littlest and most superficial of things, it seems, as if they don't value relationships or don't respect the brutality of the dating game enough. I don't want to make it sound like I am an exception because I am sure then again there are many people like me in this regard, but I understand the ramifications of dating and relationships and how dangerous this can be. I personally have a lot of respect for the dating game in terms of realizing that it's going to be very difficult and can get pretty ugly. I don't really "respect it" as in LIKE it, but I certainly understand the potency of this, and I am not going for anything special. My goal is just to find a girl that I am physically attracted to and compatible with at a reasonable level, and with whom I can have a stable relationship. I don't have much more in terms of expectations or selectivity. This is all I am happy with, because again, i realize how even someone like that is going to be extremely hard to find.

But a lot of people seem to treat dating as if it's going to be this mindlessly easy thing and eventually no matter what they'll find their special someone and DON'T give enough respect to the brutality of the dating game, and as a result are gutsy to breakup over the slightest issues without attempt for resolution.

1. Do you think this is true?
2. Why or why not?


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Most Helpful Girl

  • 1. I've never thought that to be true, that younger people take dating as a mindlessly easy thing. Many of my female friends are guilty of acting pretty entitled with their boyfriends, and in turn will put up with a lot of shit with these guys when it's clear it's going nowhere. Kind of like a balanced give-take in a not so beneficial way.
    2. I think 'relationships' like that, where the most significant thing is whether or not the guy picks up the bill, takes her out or compliments her enough is more indicative of maturity levels, or lack thereof, than anything else. With the older crowd (22-23), most of my friends are really good about putting in effort to maintain good relationships. Weathering through any struggles that may pop-up, being supportive to their s/o, etc..

    I certainly don't treat it as anything effortless. I know it takes a lot of work and compromise on both sides. When the going gets tough, I always ask myself if I see him worthwhile in the big picture, if I want to stay with him in that respect. Far too many times both of us have had to put our pride aside for the sake of a resolution when we realized it was a petty matter.

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Most Helpful Guy

  • It comes with age, when your young, you have no idea what you want, so reasoning for break ups can be hillariously shallow in hindsight.
    When your older, you make smarter decisions and give it thought, it comes with the maturity/life experiences

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Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 3

  • I don't necessarily think that it's more true, but I know that I'm more willing to break up with my boyfriend than my mother is to break up with my father because I'm younger.

    I have less commitment to him, we have no marriage or engagement or children and we share a house but we don't live alone, there's no real mess if we break up. It's purely about us, I don't have to think about how it affects other people like older people might have to.

    I also know that I can probably get another relationship in time to have children, whereas this is a concern for many older couples who may want a family and are worried about leaving a current relationship in case they then can't find someone.

    I wouldn't break up with him over something trivial, but if I felt like I had to, chances are I would. Not because I'm younger this time, but because I know what I deserve and I'm not going to stay in a relationship that makes me unhappy.

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  • I think that younger people have a fear of getting hurt, so they withdraw before they sink deeper into it. In a way they don't dare to face the true problems, they'd rather run away from it instead of facing it headfront and settling it with the other party with communication, time and effort.

    I guess youths are more about being fast and furious (generalization here) though of course there will be people who are in it for the long term.

    Perhaps another reason why it's easier for them to let go of their significant other is because they are still in the phase where they are just 'trying out' and not really serious about it after all.

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  • When people are in their teens to early 20, most of them are unsure of what they want, they are searching to find themselves also, as u get a little older you discover ur like and dislike, what ur tolerance levels are in regard to relationship, weather friendship or anything else. As u get Older and gather more experience u become wiser, ur value of life is different, people are more of an asset, and aren't as disposable as when ur younger

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    • Well sucks for me for the next 10 years or so (and all others my age).

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    • Because of the lack of stability. In general, I like solidity and stability (that's why I play the French Defense in chess).

      And clearly, these next few years are going to be the most unstable.

    • Maybe.. it doesn't have to be, u know what you want don't you? U know what would make you happy don't you? U have the opportunity to change this confusing state of mind.
      U seem so aware of the problem's.
      not so much the people its in fact that our world has changed, it's quicker, faster.
      Less communication less empathy for others everything is done over email.. and texts.. where's the connection, the touching the loving, it seems like everything is done so quickly who has time to learn eachother.

What Guys Said 3

  • I think some (certainly not all) younger people walk away from relationships quicker because they don't invest themselves in their relationships. Instead of telling a girl that they like her and asking for a date, they send her a text. Instead of calling her and telling her how much they enjoyed the first date, they send her a text. When it is time to break up, they end her a text. They are either afraid of the emotional commitment or they don't know how to commit themselves emotionally, but the result is that they have less invested in a relationship and that makes it easier to walk away from their "significant" other.

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  • I wouldn't break up over tiny things but if my trust is ruined once, that's it. Millions of others to choose from

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    • Well I personally have a second chance policy with cheating but that's just me.

      However, I will say, and this is why I am in therapy, I have a scarcity mindset (as opposed to your abundance mindset), and this is going to make my life very difficult, as long as this what seems to be a valid scarcity mindset continues.

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    • When it comes to cheating there is no such thing as a "mistake". What, would the partner just slip and fall onto the guy's penis with her pants coincidentally down to her knees? Seems legit. Even if drink is involved that is no excuse.
      Those relationships probably survived because the cheating partner was scared straight with an ultimatum and they learned their lesson.
      For certain mistakes, a second chance seems reasonable but when it comes to cheating there is no such thing as mistakes.

    • I still think a second chance for cheating is reasonable... but that's just my opinion.

  • They can easily hook up with someone else. The older you get, the easier it doesn't become.

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    • Well I am "young" and it's pretty much been impossible.

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    • If you did it before you can do it again.

    • I have never done it.

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