Why was I downvoted for saying that I would give a cheating girlfriend a second chance?

I personally think... it's fair to give a cheating partner a second chance. Not a third, fourth, fifth, etc, but I just think... and it also depends on the circumstances. Clearly, if the cheater was taking it lightly and not showing any intent to chance or being apologetic in much of a serious way, then of course I wouldn't in that scenario either.

But if the cheater came back and was very apologetic and everything, I just don't see what's wrong with giving them one more chance. Again, I am not saying third, fourth, etc, I mean second chance and if that fails, done.

To me, in my opinion, I just think it's fair to give a second chance. I think if you can avoid making the same mistake twice, then you have successfully reformed yourself, and that's why hypothetically I would give my girlfriend a second chance, provided again, she had shown that she was actually sorry for the incident and had intent to reform herself. I just think it's fair to at least allow a person to demonstrate that they won't make the same mistake again.

What's wrong with this idea? What is the downside of giving a cheater only a second chance?


Most Helpful Girl

  • You should do whatever you feel is right in a relationship.

    I personally don't agree with you though, I think cheating changes the relationship and I would never look at someone the same if they cheated on me. I wouldn't trust them or respect them and those things build a relationship.


Most Helpful Guy

  • The median age on GAG has dropped a lot in recent times. You're surrounded now by the sorts of users who think not answering a text is grounds for breaking up, kissing someone is cheating, and any sort of cheating anywhere ever under any circumstances is an unforgivable sin.

    You know, kids.

    They don't know the first thing about what it means to make a relationship work, how tough it can be, and how forgiveness is more important than absolutes.


Have an opinion?

What Girls Said 4

  • Why do you care so much?

  • Just as input, i always go by the saying: they do it once nothing will stop them from doing it again wheather its in a day or a year.

    But if your willing to work to rebuild the trust then...

  • Yeah, I'd give him another chance also.
    Some People don't think that

  • No trust, no bust. As simple as that.


What Guys Said 5

  • Your age is showing. Cheating is not some minor, temporary lapse of attention, didn't see the red light in time sort of thing. Cheating is an intentional act for which a person has time to reflect and ponder the consequences before committing the offense. It is a reflection on the character of the cheater and it reveals an attitude that generally does not change over time.

    When you pledge faithfulness to someone, you are not making a promise to not cheat twice. You are promising to not cheat once. If the girl has broken that promise to you, why would you trust any other promise that she makes. For most people, cheating signifies the end of a relationship. That is why you got down-voted.

    • Because people genuinely make mistakes and in my view, it's fair to give them just a second chance.

      Actually there are many people my age looking down on me for saying this and I've seen older people give second chances... so I don't think age is the factor here.
      I guess I am just more lenient.

    • You'll always be wondering, is she? Isn't she? Seriously want to live like that? Permanent torment?

  • Quite simly, while the act of cheating was going on, I would have been put into second place in her affections. For that time she would be loving someone else. If she doesn't want to be dumped, then she should have kept her knickers firmly in place!

    Do you seriously think you could accept her going out "with the girls", while you sit and wonder if she's cheating again? How far through life would you keep wondering if she was doing it again?

    So what happens if after 5 years she cheats again? How will you feel about 5 wasted years? How about 10 years? How about if you find she's been cheating multiple times over these years. Right at the beginning you should tell her, one chance is all you get. She then knows the score!! If she cheats, tough! She knows what's coming!

    Being sorry is no excuse and just isn't valid. She should be mature enough to know the consequences.

  • I noticed I got downvoted for saying something similar a while ago. Not that I've had a girlfriend or anything, but I said that I would most likely give her a second chance if she cheated and apologised, and that I was surprised at the amount of people that voted otherwise. Some people need to calm down a bit :/

  • Well, that's your choice... But in my view, anyone who forgives a cheater is a spineless fool.

    • Just once... again, I am not saying indefinitely.

      On the second occurrence, I would definitely leave her.

    • Again, your choice. But honestly, a relationship is very unlikely to work after someone had cheated.

    • Well if it doesn't, then I'll end it then...

      It's not as if you only get this one chance to break up and if you don't, you're stuck in the relationship for eternity.

  • Cuckoldry is generally looked down upon by others.

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