My ex got back together with his previous baby momma immediately after we broke up a month ago. I'm fine with it for the most part except for one thing: he wants to take our 5 year old over to his girlfriends house, leave her for the night and entire next day with her older half sister who is 17. He is barely starting to get to know her so leaving our daughter w her without any adult supervision is completely wrong in my opinion. He refuses to even give me a phone number or address in case of emergency bc he says I could call her and start trouble. That's a load... I've been the one encouraging him to reach out to her for over 5 years so why would I mess that up? What should I do? He won't listen to my concerns at all and does what he wants. I'm sick over this. Help!!
Most Helpful Guy
He's leaving his 5yr old daughter with her 17 yr old sister... I don't know either girl but unless the 5 yr old's got a list of medical conditions or the 17 yr old has a list of arrests I think your daughter will be fine. At 5 I'm certain she's pretty capable with things like using the restroom and telling people when she's hungry. At 17 I'm certain she knows the importance of paying attention to a child's safety and when to call the police. Had either girl been younger I might be worried but unless either girl is really incompetent 17 sounds fine for watching a 5 yr old for a day. On the note of him giving you contact information. I agree that you having the address and phone number is very important however at the same time although you say you'd never bother her I don't believe that as much as he probably doesn't either. You stating that he started dating her a week after you broke up tells me you find some type of issue with that time period otherwise you wouldn't have mentioned it. You could say all day that you don't care and that it's fine but that doesn't mean you are. So I understand your worries about your child but it's hard to separate them from your possible worries about his relationship. It's one day with her sister although plenty could go wrong chances are nothing will and even if they did she can call her dad and WILL call her dad before calling you. So at this point if something is happening to her and her dad at the exact same time either they're having a coincidentally but unrelated super rare bad day or something tragic is happening that you probably wouldn't be able to help with any way. In this case ask him to give his daughter your information. If she needs it she'll use it. I guess what I'm saying is your concerns are right. Having information just in case is a good thing for a mother but in these specific circumstances maybe you should trust them and let it go for a little while. Chances are nothing bad will happen. Maybe just try to relax for these two days simply as a kind act towards your ex and more importantly your daughter's sister. If you stay seperated he will (and you will too) take and sometimes leave your daughter plenty of places without telling the other. There will come many days were you will not know exactly what your child is doing or where she is. You have to learn to trust your child's father and if you can't do that you should sue and easily win full child custody.5
Most Helpful Girl
This guy is being a jerk. It's perfectly understandable why you don't want your daughter there. You don't know her and he probably barely knows her and she will be spending the night there.
I think most parents would completely understand. I wouldn't want my kid (if I was a mom) to spend the night at someone's home who I barely knew. Especially when she is so young. And also, he's refusing to give you a number in case of emergency. That's not right. I understand he's worried you are going to start something. But if your daughter is there, you should at least know and have a way to contact her.0