What can I do? I'm at breaking point.

My whole life I've never really gotten along with my mom. The last few weeks have been the worst. She's always yelling at me to get a job, but I don't think she understands that I'm going every where, but not many places are hiring and since I'm a teen I'm less likely to get a job. Then I want to move to England and work in the music business. She always tells me that is a great idea and she will come visit the box I will be living in on the streets of London. Or she says that she will keep my room ready for my return. Then I joined so stupid Facebook group like Mom, I just woke up don't talk to me. Which is true and she knows it. So she commented and said she joined a group call I'd like to stick my foot up my daughter's ass. Then a few days ago she told me to get of my lazy fat ass and actually do something around here and as she's telling me this she, my dad, and my sister are all just sitting around. She's also on me about the fact that I've never had a boy friend. I keep telling her that I'm not looking for one and she said no that not it. She also told me that I will have to take my cousin to prom because no guy at my school would ever ask me to go with him. Then my family is really loud and crazy. I'm more shy and quiet and don't like being around the loud and crazy. So one day for fun I was watching Jerry Springer and I said something about how watching that show makes me realize my family really is not that bad and she flipped out on me. Again with the shy thing she always yells at me for that. She wants to know why I'm such a stupid shy girl and that's the reason I have no boyfriend and no one like me. I'm shy because growing up every time I said something around her she yelled at me for some reason so I learned to not say much. 1st she complained the whole time. The when we got them she wanted this one. I didn't like it. I said it's her pic get what 1 she wants. She didn't get in. In the ride home all she did was complain about it. We showed the pics to people. Everyone that sees them tells me to go into plus size modeling. Even the people at the place we bought them from. She said that I'm to ugly to model any thing. The thing that really pushed me over is today is her birthday. I went downstairs to tell her happy birthday even thought I didn't really think she deserved it from me. I knew I had to do it. So I told her and she gave me crap about. She was like I can't believe you even remembered and stuff like that. And it was just the way she said it that I walked to my room and started crying. But my sister said it and she was like thank you and so happy. The last few weeks I just come upstairs and I cry. My dad and my sister just let it go. My friends know how she is, but they can't do any thing. Other family member know how she is. They don't really care. I always ask why I was given to her as a child. I don't know why she hates me. I honestly just don't know how much more I can take. I just really don't know what to do.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • First of all regarding your mother. She clearly has issues and I'd try to bring your dad into the picture. Unless he is a complete jerk, he won't ignore you. She is probably a good person, but it sounds like she has some anger management and/or depression issues or something along those lines (I'm not a psychologist though so that is only an opinion). I'd come up with some concrete examples to tell your dad (or other relatives if he won't help). Tell them that she shouldn't have to live this way, and if they care about her, they will help. I'd suggest taking the initiative yourself, but that could go the wrong way and leave you in a worse situation (especially since you are not a legal adult).

    Now on to your insecurities. The job market is tough. However seeing as it will get you away from your mother, here are some ideas: grocery stores and Walmart hire a ton of people, check there, ask relatives if they know of any positions available which is good because they can put in a good word. Basically, search for any opportunity to get yourself a job and any hours outside of school will do. Also even if it is a crummy job, it's a lot easier to move up or get a new one that is better in the future.

    If this whole plus size modeling thing works out (this is practically off an episode of Weeds :P) I guess good for you. However, realize at the same time that your mother just wants what is best for you. Commercialism paints the idea that you need to be slim to be attractive, and your mother probably has the idea that you'll end up settling for some greasy obese alcoholic guy on the streets of London if you don't have a perfect body. All I can suggest is to stay healthy and physically fit. You might already be, I don't know the situation, but as long as your body is in good condition, a few extra pounds don't matter much in the scheme of things.

    With guys, it's tough. Most guys form initial opinions on women primary based on attraction. And without lying to your face, weight is certainly an issue if you want to date the quarterback of the football team. Likely, there are plenty of guys who would go to prom with you that you haven't noticed. Many shy guys can be found all over the place. Often guy friends like their close female friends more than friends. Strike up conversations with that guy who sits next to you in class. You have to build your confidence and your social base. Many shy guys have a few extra pounds too and are probably feeling just as lonely regarding prom. So, hang out with them. Say that you like video games, and you might be invited over to to play Halo or something. Video games are a great portal to unsocial guys by the way and getting away from your home has the added benefit. Anyway if you get to know some guy friends really well, there is a very good chance that you'll end up with a real prom date.

    I hope this helps and good luck kiddo :). Just message if you need any additional advice.

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