My ex has already moved on to another girl? How could he move on so quickly?

I would really appreciate any advice regardin my situtation. I'm so heartbroken I can't even comprehend how he has already oved on. :(

My ex and I were together for over 2.5 years. He was deeply in love with me and was always afraid I would break up with him. We had an amazing relationship and were inseperable. Over time I became frustrated with him because he didn't have a car or a job. I also felt like I needed to work on myself due to some insecurities and depression I had. So I ened it with him and immeditately reggreted it. He gave me a second chance and we acted like we never broke up even though we were on a "break." Then he leaves for the summer for a music program and two weeks, after I drive down to come visit him, he tells me he's not sure if he wants to be single or in a relationship. I begged frantically for him back and spilled my heart out to him, and all he says is "I don't know."

That was the last I heard from him and I haven't spoken to him since. He just got back into town and he has yet to contact me. A few days ago I saw some pictures of him that a girl posted from his music group and it seems like they are a couple. She's even here visiting him even though she lives in a state. I have a feeling they started their fling at the beggining of summer. I just can't beleive he has already replaced me when I miss him like crazy and would do anything for him back. I just don't understand why he wouldn't want to give our love another chance after we were so close and fell in love with eachother?


Most Helpful Guy

  • "How could he move on so quickly? "

    A very common question - most men have this ability and girls seem utterly confused by it. They generally think that his speed at moving on, somehow invalidates the entire relationship - like, there's no way he could have loved her if he is able to move on that quickly.

    What can I tell you? It's a gift. Under the right circumstances a guy can get over a girl in like 5 seconds, though they'd have to be the right circumstances indeed in that case.

    It's probably down to our evolutionary past as hunters. When a man hunts his prey, and it gets away from him, he has two options. Sit around and moan and complain and hope the animal comes back so he can kill it, or dust himself down and find a new prey immediately.

    The men who did option one, didn't eat, didn't breed, and their kind died out. The survivors were the ones who learned to move on quickly and find a new target. They ate, they bred, their quick-to-move-on genes survived and thrived.

    Women as the gatherers and home makers didn't have that need. So they never evolved it.


Most Helpful Girl

  • Like you said, it sounds like he may have started something with her while at the music camp. So sadly, he probably broke up with you for her. Maybe he realized if he could have feelings for someone else, that he couldn't be as in love as he thought. How old are the two of you anyway? It sounds like you are probably very young, so definitely know this is normal and guys (and girls) have many experiences to deal with in life before settling down.


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What Guys Said 1

  • That is life full of disappointment


What Girls Said 1

  • I am in a similar situation so I completely understand. Probably when you broke up with him the first time he was always afraid to let his guard back down. Hopefully this new girl is just an experiment and he will reslize she doesn't measure up to what you had! Maybe he just needs some time to sort through all of this. Just don't contact him and if you do keep it very light and make him remember how great things are with you. Good luck!!


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