I don't even know where to begin... My ex and I were together for a year and a half. The first year was the best thing that happened to both of us. We both felt we were each others first loves and it was both of our longest relationships, I admit we had issues but nothing was to big, he would do anything for me, and it took awhile for me to understand that but eventually I realized it and in turn would do anything for him. We did have jealousy issues as well because he was trying to be in the music industry, and I was in school, but we would always work things out he was my best friend I actually thought we had a solid relationship. We have been through thick and thin, he had lost his job last year in July and from then on was bouncing from house to house and job to job, but I stuck by him, helped him out with money, gave him rides to places he needed to go, I supported him with everything he tried to do. And the relationship grew harder because of the stress he was going through with his situation and I guess with me feeling like I was the one with the money. So he broke up with me in July of this year and said it was because I was vindictive, we had no trust and that I had given him an ultimatum (which I did not). We messed around still until Oct, but he acted totally different with me, all the feeling in his voice was gone, he treated me like I was just another girl, and I got mad, and I was getting advice from friends and family and none of it was helping. Because he wouldn't call or text me, and then a couple weeks would pass and he would text something like " I just had a dream about you and wanted to see if you were OK" I basically felt like he was playing mind games with me. But every time I would call him or text him, he would respond, he never ignored me. And my friends said it's because he knows I still have feelings for him. But I told him 3 weeks ago to stop doing that because I didn't need him to check on me or his pity, and that I was fine, and he just said OK, that he wouldn't contact me anymore. That's not what I truly wanted, I want him to show that he was still interested in me and wanted to be with me again, but the last time we tried to work it out, he said "he couldn't do it again" not right now. I mean I guess it's basically in my face that he doesn't want to be with me, but how do I let the feelings go, and how could he just forget about me? He once told me a few months ago that it was as hard for him as it was for me, but it seems stupid because he wasn't acting that way with me like the way I was acting with him. I now have basically accepted its over and nothing will come of it, but he still crosses my mind everyday, and I feel I can date now, but I don't want to because I only think of him. My emotions are all over the place, one minute I feel like he did me a favor but the other minute I feel like it's still unresolved.. So where do I go from here? Should I just keep moving on?... PLEASE HELP, THANK YOU...
also, I have not had contact with him in almost a month and he did not even send me anything about a merry Christmas or happy holidays... so... I guess I just need to let go..