How do I get him back?

I was in love with this guy, like seriously crazy and we were very committed we had been together on and off for about 9 months- a year. We had been growing apart but that's just what me and him did we would grow apart then take a break then get back together more in love than ever. So one night in October I went to a house party and he wasn't there and this guy who I was friends with got very very very drunk and ill and he was so wasted he needed someone to look after him. so we were sitting on my friends bed both drunk hugging and giggling and he kissed me I froze but then pulled away and left him. I felt so guilty I automatically burst into tears, a couple of his friends that were there told me they wouldn't tell him and neither wood I and it wood all be ok. The next day he text me and broke up with me just saying we needed some pace which I wasn't worried about as I knew I could win him back easily but I was devastated none the less I talked to some of my friends about telling him about the party and they said not to bother. so after a night of depression and arguments one of his friends told me that what I had done was horrible and he asked if I was gonna tell him the truth I said I didn't know and then he signed off IM. so later that night had decided I would tell him and I would call him I picked up the phone to see a text saying that he knew what had happened (his mate told him in front of his whole gang and made him cry that I sat and pulled this guy for like 10 minutes!) so I apologized and explain and then I got two big texts of what a lying bitch and I whore I was and then he told me he never wanted to see me again and then the next day he text me about something else I did at the party which didn't happen and we had a big fight on IM and he told me the same thing and then he signed off. later that week my friend convinced him to listen to my side of the story and I texted him it and he asked if I had anyone who could back me up so I named them one of which being my closest friend at the time and he said he wood check with her and so I called her just to give her a heads up and she said she wood tell him what I had said was true. and then she went and told him the same as him mates had told him that I was sitting full on making out with this guy and when I asked her why she did it she said cos he had finally came to his senses and broke up with me and she didn't want me to get him back. so that was early October and I haven't spoke to either of them since one of his friends started going out with one of my friends so him and me made up and are close but my ex is now going out with a girl he was briefly seeing in the short time when me and him weren't involved before and he still apparently to quote "couldn't care if I dropped down dead" but the thing is he was my boyfriend and my closest friend and I'm not ready to give up so how do I do the impossible? how do i get him to listen? how do I get him back ? please help I'm begging!


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Most Helpful Girl

  • Tough situation. First you have to get him to listen... So. I would email him or text him or something telling him everything that happened, including your best friend because that's who caused him not to believe you... If the boy you kissed remembers... and agrees that you weren't making out, it would also be good to ust him as someone to back up your story, and he can also tell his side of the story. But, tell him your story explain yourself and let him read it. From there, he'll decide what to do. It may not look like anything, but he'll probably be thinking about it a lot. I wouldn't be friends with that girl again, because if she could lie to him, she may lie to you too. It's not good to have dishonest friends, nor friends who won't back you up. Give him time, maybe a week to read and think about what you say, and ask him... "can I talk to you? will you talk to me?" Depending on what he's like he may say no, but he'll probably say yes... from there things will sort themselves out. But try not to make it sound like you're jealous and are just trying to break him up with his new grilfriend. Best of luck, let me know how it goes.

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    • Thanks that's actually really helped and I think I might have made it worse cos me and the guy at the party became really close weeks after and really good friends now and he was so far gone he doesn't remember a thing unfortunately but me and this guy have been messing around and I don't want my ex to think we are dating cos then he will defo think I cheated

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    • Okay. if you need any more "advice" feel free to ask. let me know how it goes.

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What Guys Said 1

  • If you've been dating this, and he's suddenly busy, his calls have dropped off, and he's just not giving you the attention he used to, it's upsetting. It's especially so if he came on strong at first when you weren't even particularly interested in him.

    All of a sudden, he's acting as if he's doing you a big favor.

    How do you get his attention again? First off, determine if you really and truly want his attention (you may be thinking, 'Of course I do,' but please slow down and think this over).

    If you decide he's worth it, here's what you must do: Back away slowly.

    This is not for sissies, but trust me, it's the only way you're ever going to get him back. It takes discipline. It takes self-love. And you must do it.

    This means you do not, under any circumstances, email the dude. You don't call him to see how he's doing. You don't come up with a scheme to score tickets to opening day of his favorite baseball team and casually invite him to go with you (I've tried this scheme; the tickets were for The Stones. The guy in question took me up on the offer all right, but that was pretty much the last time I saw him).

    The key is to keep busy (no waiting for the phone to ring, please). Let him come after you. Yes, I know you've heard this before. Hey, I'd heard it before, but it didn't work until I actually gave it a try. If the guy likes you, he'll miss you. If he doesn't, nothing you say or do or wear will ever change that.

    Good Luck.

    - Harvey D

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What Girls Said 1

  • My advise, don't make that so long. It's hard to read it all lol

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