Was I Wrong For Saying No?

So if you read my recent posts I was dealing with a guy who basically treated me like crap for three years and used me for money. Long story short when I stopped giving it to him he decided he didn't want me. He even had the nerve to call me up just to tell me about his new girlfriend and how prettier she was then me and how her sex was better blah blah blah. I haven't spoken to him since that day and blocked him from everything and out of the blue today his sister sends me a message on Facebook asking me to come up there this weekend because they needed to go food shopping and their waahing matchine broke stuff like that. I have a car and they dont and I'm guessing they don't know anyone with a car or they have asked others and they have said no. I told her it was best if I stayed away and she told me that I didn't have to see him which was odd because they all live together. I told her polietly that I am going to be busy, which I am and that he has this awesome girlfriend that he threw in my face why not ask her? A VERY and I mean VERY SMALL part of me feels bad because I don't want to be petty. Was I wrong for saying no? Should I feel bad? Should I have said that about the girlfriend? I don't want any bad karma LOL.

Updates:
Sorry about the spelling errors too LOL I am on my phone and my thumbs are big!😂😂😂

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Most Helpful Guy

  • No, you were not wrong. When you break up with a boyfriend, you also break up with his family. It was wrong (but scarcely surprising) for the sister to call asking for favors. You are hurt and you said something that was relatively mild. I would not think about it again.

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    • Can I ask what you meant by scarcely surprising?

    • Your ex was a leach and his sister is the same. They were raised in the same family so I assume it is the way the entire family relates to others.

    • That makes a lot of sense. I've seen the way she treats some of her boyfriends as well and it is sort of the same way. Thanks for your help.

Most Helpful Girl

  • FCK NO you aren't wrong. Your choice and behavior couldn't be more RIGHT. I've been in abusive relationships. Until we as women put a stop to it, it will continue... Even with this new 'awesome' girlfriend. Abusers abuse. Period. Give yourself a pat on the back, look in the mirror and say 'I'm very proud of your for loving yourself enough to say NO to someone who uses me as a door mat because I'm not doing myself, he or society any favors by letting him do so.' You've grown and are healthier than ever. Keep it going sister! xo

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 1

  • Na, you did the right thing.

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What Girls Said 4

  • No, don't feel bad. You are no longer with this guy, you don't owe a single thing to this family. They will have to sort out their shopping issues themselves. I think it's quite rude of the sister to message you and ask you for a favour since she obviously knows you're no longer together.

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  • You are NOT wrong for saying no. Please don't feel bad. You are not obligated to take them grocery shopping. I know why you feel bad, you want to help them and his sister didn't do anything. However, it's too risky to go there and possibly see that guy.

    TBH you are far better off without him. Just do you, go out with friends, have a good time, enjoy your life. You deserve it! Pamper yourself! It's okay to say no if there is a possibility you are going to be in a situation where you will see this guy and possibly the new girl.

    I can't believe he called you to tell you about how great his new girl is. WHO EVEN DOES THAT? Sounds to me like he is trying compensating for losing you. You were probably really good to him, by the sounds of it you were.

    Just be glad that you no longer have to fund his sorry butt. Spend that money on yourself :) Get your hair done, nails done, some new clothes, or even just a movie with friends. Do something you enjoy :) Don't feel bad!

    If I were in your shoes, I would have said the same thing! You did nothing wrong!

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    • Thanks and I was thinking the same thing when he called me w that bs. After hanging up on him multiple times I blocked him from everything. I haven't heard from him since and I'm slowly feeling better about it :)

    • That's good! I'm sure that after some time you will start to feel even better! Break ups are tough, don't let this bad experience take any more of your time.

  • No you shouldn't feel bad.

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  • You did the right thing saying no! You shouldn't let yourself be used like that. Mentioning the new girlfriend was probably not necessary but it doesn't really make a difference.

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    • It probably was but I was just a little angry at the fact that he threw her in my face and they're STILL needing something from me.

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