My ex wants me to pay him back?

My boyfriend of 1 year and I broke up. I still love him but i ended things. I can't force myself to be with somone I am not happy with so I had to do what I had to do. After saying "its over" he now wants me to give him at least 350$ to cover all costs on dates he took me too, he wants me to return all gifts he gave me including his grandma's locket (me returning the lcoket is the only thing I understand). I have paid for dates too and got him gifts (this relationship was 50-50) but I never asked/ do not want to ask him to pay me back or return all gifts! And I've been in many relationships and none of my past exes asked me a request like this, this specific guy was the only one who asked me such a thing. I do refuse to pay him back but would I be a bi*ch if i didnt? I could block him on socialmedia and his number. But I do not want any cops showing up on my door. He has never threatened to press charges or anything but could he? I dont even want him showing up at my house and causing a scene either but I am broke! that 350$ could go to my student loans geeze. Is it a must that I should pay him and im i obligated to? Any opinion and advice would be great


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Most Helpful Guy

  • You have no obligation to return anything that was given to you as a gift, and that includes dinners and entertainment. If you had a physical relationship, ask him (not seriously, of course) if he should compensate you for all of the physical pleasure you gave him. The real problem is that he is extremely angry and 1) this is his way of showing you how angry it is, and 2) this is his way of prolonging the breakup, because in his mind, it's not over yet.

    Do return the family heirloom but have him sign a receipt for it. Tell him that you have no obligation to pay him for anything else and that, if he continues to contact you about this, you will get an injunction against him for stalking or harassment. Block him on your phone and on social media. But be sure to follow through on anything that you threaten.

    Good luck!

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Give him back his grandma's locket but don't pay him back, you owe him nothing. He's making it seem as if you contributed nothing financially to the relationship, when you clearly did. The judge will probably laugh in his face if he decides to press charges.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 6

  • to be fair, if the relationship was 50/50 you could ask for the money you paid on dates and all the gifts you gave him back, He sounds like he is trying to make your life diffcult. I would suggest trying to talk sensibly about this with him and see where that leads if he still persists then ask for the money you paid out on dates with him and gifts. Because surely he will realise that you paid out the same amount as he did if the relationship was 50-50

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  • No that's all gift. By law petty sure this is every state but a gift is a gift you do not have to return anything givin to you that's why they are called (gifts)

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  • Thats f'ed up don't pay him back he can't do anything to get the money and gifts back only return the locket but besides that keep the money and the gifts.

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  • he is hurt, return the locket of her grandmother and that's it. In my opinion, returning the locket, I think you should have done it even if he didn't asked about it (sentimental value), but don't return anything else, nor pay the "debt". He cannot call the cops... that's not a real debt ffs XD.

    Anyway, he probably is doing all this because he wants you back... weird way, true, but when someone is desperate usually ends up doing stupid things like this...

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  • Lol, no. Fuck him. If he doesn't like him, tell him to talk to your lawyer.

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  • A gift is a gift period and you do not have to pay him back. Like you said it was a 50/50 relationship when it came to your dates and gifts. The locket well that was awesome of yoy to give that back as its a family piece.

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What Girls Said 10

  • Relax, @Emmajay, and Consider Him history and along with This...350$ to cover all costs he took me too, he wants me to return all gifts he gave me...
    He cannot Get a rock out of a penny, this Penny Pincher and with being a sore sport, he is a sore loser as well.
    Move on and chalk it up as his big loss in a relationship that he could not even take to the bank to make you happy in.
    As far as the Dunkin Donut hole toy cops go, they will Merely laugh in his face, as he stands there with egg all over it, as they scoff down their grub and tell him to take it up in Small Claims Court.
    He is a bozo, jumping through hoops here, dear. He has not a receipt to show nor a window to throw out his Hissing and Moaning out of.
    Yes, I will agree, being it Might be an Heirloom, mail back granny her locket and close this chapter to a book that was not worth its weight in God... Just got old.
    Good luck and Good riddance to him. xx

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  • Return the things but screw the money. You don't owe him anything. If he still demands the money, tell him you want 1000 for all the time you wasted on him.

    What a loser

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  • Hell Noooo!! I wouldn't pay him nothing at all NOT a dime. You don't own him nothing you guys were together. You are not obligated to pay him what he wasted on you while you guys were dating. You should only give him his grandmas locket. Maybe it means something to him. Block him and forget about him. If he can ask for all the things back that he gave you. He is not a real men either. Plus you gave too in the relationship and can't do anything about it.

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  • Give him back his stuff to avoid legal hassle but when it come to paying back the dates he has no legal grounds and you can quite literally tell him to go fuck himself and stop being a whiny little bitch about getting dumped. Sorry about the rude way I put it but I was in a situation similar to this and being a serious bitch is the only way to get him off your case. Using nice words didn't work

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  • LMAO, what a toolbox!

    Return the locket and tell him to eat a bag of dicks. You were in a relationship, those were GIFTS. You cannot take someone to court to demand gifts back. He'd be a fool to try, because the judge would probably make him pay your court fees for being such an idiot.

    Oh lol, my sides. Even if this story is fake, it's hella funny.

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    • Now that I think about it, 350 bucks in a year is NOTHING. I spend way more than that on my boyfriend in a shorter space of time (as does he on me).

      Not only is your ex a loser, but he's a cheap one at that.

  • No don't pay him back, wtf? If he's a real man he wouldn't care and ask a GIRL for his money back. He wanted to take you out on those dinners and buy u stuff so that's his problem you never forced him too. He needs to grow up and get over it.

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  • He is being ridiculous (except on the grandmother locket). You don't owe him anything, if he took you on dates and gave you things is because he wanted to. And once given they're yours. You don't have to pay for anything. Just give him the grandma's locket, tell him that you don't have that money and ignore him. If he shows up at your house that starts to be really intrusive behavior and if it's intimidating you you can talk to the police.

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  • You don't owe that bitter boy shit, he's just being salty because you're moving on without him. Don't pay him a dime and be thankful, you swerved that one!

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  • Dont pay him back! He is being a dick for asking you

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  • I'd give him the locket back and then I'd cut him off. He has no right to ask for gifts back. Don't be scared of the cops showing up because they won't. Legally, he has no right to ask for anything back. The only thing he could ask for would be an engagement ring since that is a conditional gift, but since he has never given you one that's irrelevant. Honestly, give him his grandmother's locket and then cut him off. He's probably just really hurt now and is trying to be mean by asking for things back. I'm sure that with time, he'll realise how ridiculous he is.

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