I found out my husband was having secret lunches, phone calls and texts with a girl he worked with. The messages and calls became increasingly frequent and the texts increasingly flirtatious on her end. Then she started sending him pictures of herself. Instead of discouraging her he said he was going to save them till he went home and reassured her that he was 'ultra careful' about deleting them. I found some of these messages at this point before it went any further and he assured me that he would never even kiss her and that he never had any intention of it becoming an affair. He said it was just an ego boost for him, that the messages were much more flirtatious than their face-to-face relationship when they caught up in real life and that they actually talked mainly about her career and her relationship. Should I believe him? I should also mention that about 7 years ago I found out that he had kissed a girl at work (different girl, different company) but when I confronted him about it he made out it was all her fault, even though just afterwards he sent her a message saying "That was so hot." Should I believe him this time when he says he had no intention of it becoming an affair? My inclination is to end things but we have two children whom I love more than anything. Is he just an idiot who got himself into a bad situation, or a serial sleaze trying to get away with whatever he can? Honest opinions, no matter how brutal, greatly appreciated.
Most Helpful Guy
You will never trust him and you won't feel love for him. Staying in that relationship sets a bad example for your children. There are men out there who don't cheat, but your husband is not one of them.1
Most Helpful Girl
As wise as I am here, @maygaltoo, I also have a reputation for being a Straight shooter here, dear, as well.
He is a bull crapper and Cheat and you cannot trust him as of Now. The First time was a slap in your face and the Second Time, is even More of a Disgrace. And if you haven't noticed, the writing on the wall and all always points To... Different girl, Different company.
Things with the Newbie seem to be heating up just a bit too much for my own liking. He isn't 'Discouraging' Anything from where I am sitting. I see a little too much of munching and messaging and even movie star pix of herself and with him being a married man, I am asking myself: What's next in store with perhaps more?
You need to sit him down and have another talk with Joe Schmo and lay it on the table for him that it take Two to tango and Two to Tangle and by the looks of things, it is Looking More like an evil web of Over time fun around that water cooler on the clock and who knows... After hours.
There are Many names for a guy like this and I like your 'Serial sleaze' as one of them. Add "Cheat sheet" to that list of Same names.
Keep your eyes and ears Open and if you suspect more hanky panky, show Joe the door and Hand him his walking papers. No more baloney, Three Strikes then and he Is... OUT.
Good luck. xx2