I caught my husband having secret lunches and sharing flirtatious texts. Was my husband intending to have an affair?

I found out my husband was having secret lunches, phone calls and texts with a girl he worked with. The messages and calls became increasingly frequent and the texts increasingly flirtatious on her end. Then she started sending him pictures of herself. Instead of discouraging her he said he was going to save them till he went home and reassured her that he was 'ultra careful' about deleting them. I found some of these messages at this point before it went any further and he assured me that he would never even kiss her and that he never had any intention of it becoming an affair. He said it was just an ego boost for him, that the messages were much more flirtatious than their face-to-face relationship when they caught up in real life and that they actually talked mainly about her career and her relationship. Should I believe him? I should also mention that about 7 years ago I found out that he had kissed a girl at work (different girl, different company) but when I confronted him about it he made out it was all her fault, even though just afterwards he sent her a message saying "That was so hot." Should I believe him this time when he says he had no intention of it becoming an affair? My inclination is to end things but we have two children whom I love more than anything. Is he just an idiot who got himself into a bad situation, or a serial sleaze trying to get away with whatever he can? Honest opinions, no matter how brutal, greatly appreciated.


0|0
83

Most Helpful Guy

  • You will never trust him and you won't feel love for him. Staying in that relationship sets a bad example for your children. There are men out there who don't cheat, but your husband is not one of them.

    1|0
    0|0

Most Helpful Girl

  • As wise as I am here, @maygaltoo, I also have a reputation for being a Straight shooter here, dear, as well.
    He is a bull crapper and Cheat and you cannot trust him as of Now. The First time was a slap in your face and the Second Time, is even More of a Disgrace. And if you haven't noticed, the writing on the wall and all always points To... Different girl, Different company.
    Things with the Newbie seem to be heating up just a bit too much for my own liking. He isn't 'Discouraging' Anything from where I am sitting. I see a little too much of munching and messaging and even movie star pix of herself and with him being a married man, I am asking myself: What's next in store with perhaps more?
    You need to sit him down and have another talk with Joe Schmo and lay it on the table for him that it take Two to tango and Two to Tangle and by the looks of things, it is Looking More like an evil web of Over time fun around that water cooler on the clock and who knows... After hours.
    There are Many names for a guy like this and I like your 'Serial sleaze' as one of them. Add "Cheat sheet" to that list of Same names.
    Keep your eyes and ears Open and if you suspect more hanky panky, show Joe the door and Hand him his walking papers. No more baloney, Three Strikes then and he Is... OUT.
    Good luck. xx

    2|0
    0|0

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • Yeah, if the girl is younger than you, he will trip and fall into her pussy.
    You need to dead that affair right now.

    0|0
    0|0
  • i wouldn't do that to a woman i truly loved. i wouldn't even feel right doing that to a woman i liked. everyone is different i suppose

    1|0
    0|0

What Girls Said 7

  • Serial sleaze, why would he have secret lunches and phone calls never minds texts with a different women. If it was an ego boost he would say of said to her at the beginning that he's flattered about the interest but he's married and then would of put an end to it, he hasn't, he's met her, continued chatting to her etc. You need to decide if you still want to be with him and if you decide to give him another chance tell him exactly what he would be loosing e. g. his children and you. Have a heart to heart with him and just get him to admit everything, if he doesn't then cut yourself loose from that dead weight

    1|0
    0|0
  • It seems like he lacks respect for you. What if you started getting your ego boosts with someone else too? Would he be OK with that? I don't know how you feel about it but it would make me sad that my husband needs to turn to other women to feel confident. i would let him know how sad it makes me and if he didn't care I'd end things. Why would you be with someone who doesn't care about how you're feeling?

    1|0
    0|0
  • Yeah, ego boost my foot.
    Give him the ultimatum! And tae marriage counseling.

    And give him some self help books to read. Specially books on marriage/relationship.

    And also the definition of respect.

    1|0
    0|0
  • You gave him a second chance already. He should have learned his lesson then. This is going to keep happening to you if you don't leave him. You need to decide if it's hurtful enough for you, to turn your life upside down and divorce him.

    1|0
    0|0
  • I'm kind of in your shoes right now 😭

    1|0
    0|0
  • Divorce is the word

    1|0
    0|0
  • Don't get too blinded by your love for him. He's lying to you, and he's cheating on you too. He also sounds very manipulative.

    1|0
    0|0
Loading...