Should I break up with my girlfriend?

My girlfriend is a smoker, and has been for about 9 months, weve been dating for 6 months, I'm not the type of person to call them cancer sticks, I just know and have seen what they can do to you. My girlfriend has living proof as her grandfather has copd, a disease from smoking yet she still smokes, we've gotten in plenty of arguments over the smoking thing, and its like talking to a brick wall. I've let her know that it bothers me she's said she's trying to quit and wants to but I don't see the effort, she'll go 4 days and think that it's okay to have 2-6 cigarettes a day the next few days and she's pulled that one plenty of times and throughout the 4 days I'll give her her props and let her know I'm proud but then that gets flushed down the drain day 5, because she thinks she done some great thing, but its gotten old she told me she questions my confidence in her to quit smoking and today I told her I don't have any confidence in her and she said that nobody does, I reply with give someone a reason to believe in you and she shuts me out by saying I don't wanna talk about this right now. I've told her not to even try to come kiss me when she smokes because I don't enjoy kissing her because the taste cigarettes leave in her mouth, and she still trys to so I don't think she respects me. So what I'm asking is should I give her more time or call it quits because I can't sit back and let her do this. I love her to death, and I haven't placed a time frame for her to be done smoking as I know it's hard to quit, but it doesn't make her attractive to me at all and I can't really stand to look at her after she's had so many (in a day)


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What Girls Said 2

  • Personally, my boyfriend would have never dated me if I smoked cance-- I mean cigarettes. If you knew she was into them then why did you bother in the first place? Aside from that, it doesn't sound like she respects you at all. I think you care about her, but from what I'm hearing, she doesn't care too much about you, and somewhat more importantly, she doesn't care about herself. PERSONALLY, I would leave. I wouldn't waste my time in believing in someone who won't even believe in herself.

    • It wasn't as bad the first few months of course the was the beginning phase and she knew I didn't like it so I hoped it would stop. So I gave it time to see if I could adjust and obviously I can't. I don't think she does either because she's told me she's smoked cigarettes to get back at me when I make her angry sometimes. I'm really considering leaving her and think I should because its gotten out of hand for me

    • Yup, I fervently believe you should. Find some happiness.

  • You can't make her quit. No one can make anyone quit a substance but themselves. She may not be ready to stop smoking. It's addictive and she doesn't start again to annoy you. It's a habit. You're doing the right thing by encouraging her when she tries to quit, but putting her down constantly when she picks up again isn't helping. People always think whether it be with smoking or drug addiction "if the person really loves me they will stop" and that just isn't true. While love and support certainly can help someone stay clean, breaking a habit is up to the person effected and them alone.

    If the habit really hinders your relationship this badly break up with her, and don't date a smoker in the future. It's okay to have preferences. But giving her ultimatums about smoking and your relationship isn't helping. She will only quit when she is truly ready to.


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