How could my ex move on so fast when I'm still completely heartbroken?


We had a great relationship and were deeply in love. We were each others firsts loves and had a lot of adventures together. I did everything for him despite him not having a job or car. I got frustrated with his lack of effort and broke up with him. I was also dealing with some depression and insecurities so I thought I needed to be alone. He was devastated. His family told me he was heartbroken. A week after breaking up I asked him to give me another chance because I loved him and missed him so much and he agreed. Everything seemed fine for about a month like we never broke up. It seemed like he wanted us to work out.

Then he left for the summer for drum corps like he does every summer. Within two weeks of him being gone he was pulling away. I even came down and visited him and he just treated me like I was a pain in the ass. He then told me he wasn't sure what he wanted, even after I begged for him back. That was the last I heard from him.

It's been two months no contact and he's back in town, with a new girl he met over summer who doesn't even live here and is the exact opposite of me. From what she's been posting it seems like they are already serious. How could he move on so quickly? Does he not even miss me? I just don't understand how he could be so happy all of a sudden when I'm completely broken. All of his posts on FB over the summer made it seem like he was having the absolute time of his life, like nothing even happened.


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Most Helpful Guy

  • No one completely moves on, so if you think that he's forgotten you, it isn't that cut and dry. I'm certain he feels the pain of breaking up with you, but remember you fired first. You showed him the negatives of himself and your disappointment in his lack of ambition. So pulling the plug on you both, though it seemed easy, to him it was. That doesn't mean he hasn't felt it nor truly moved on. The fact is, he most likely will end things with this girl (who will break up with him because of the same reasons) and come back to you. I highly suggest you continue to stay broken up with him. From what you've said, he isn't a good guy and you deserve a guy who is going to step up, get the job, get the car and make that effort. You date to find someone to get married to. I had a roommate with the same issues, and his girlfriend was completely miserable, not because of his personality or looks, but just based on the fact that he did a lot of talking and no actions. You being broken up is really good for you and you should take this time to finish the grieving process and move on. Be with someone who isn't going to throw someone amazing aside. I sometimes feel like I'm cruel when a girl breaks up with me, because a lot of the time, they come back and I don't take them back because they chose someone over me. It's something I'm working on, as we shouldn't be completely heartless, but I refuse to be chosen second for being myself. For wanting to be happy, and if someone doesn't want that, there are plenty of other people out there who will. I suggest the same for you, to find someone worthy of you. I know you're hurting, but don't focus on him or his life. Focus on yours and moving on. Kick him off facebook and try to put yourself back out there. Don't let your feelings (things on the surface) really mess with your emotions (the real deeper stuff) as you want someone who doesn't really want you. Trust me, he isn't worth you or your time. Focus on spending quality time with your friends and family. And when you're ready, start to date other guys who have jobs and cars. But more than those, date someone who is willing to work with you and not be so easy to cast you aside. Sorry for typing so much.

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Most Helpful Girl

  • Aww so sorry you are feeling so much hurt 💔

    Sometimes it takes a painful experience to make us change our ways. You left him heartbroken instead of working through the issues together... as a couple.

    Learn from this for future relationships or if you and your ex ever get back together. A great relationship isn't having the absence of problems , but being able to reolve problems within the relationship. Instead of ending it you should have communicated with him and worked through it together

    The way you feel right now is how you left him feeling. When you left him you thought it would be good for the both of you... but all you did was teach him how to live without you.

    All you can do is move on as he has , and hope one day he will miss you and want you back. He will still care about you, he is probably guarding his heart because he'll never want to feel the hurt you put him through again.

    I wish you all the best xx 💙

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What Guys Said 4

  • He still thinks about you from time to time, it's hard to forget someone that quickly so do not beat yourself up for that. As a normal person, he's just trying to move on and see what the world has to offer, maybe he will never find someone such as yourself but you should never stand around and wait for the "what ifs" You deserve happiness too you know

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  • didn't you just ask this?

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  • Let me tell you something: He has moved on, and whether he's truly happy or not, is none of you concern.
    You have to move on from this relationship and create a support group of people who will help you move on.

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  • he's a player.

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What Girls Said 1

  • It just means u have to move on he doesn't sound like a good guy ^^ u deserve someone better than him try to forget him eventhough its tough

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