How can I stop being so stupid?

I know it's a question that's been asked a million times. But I can no longer turn to my friends it's just too pathetic at this point.

We've been apart for almost a year. I know he's no good for me. He's not on a pedastal I know the horrible things that he did and how he was and all the things that pissed me off in our relationship and why we didn't work. I also know that we could never work he will never change and I'm stronger than I was back then and could never put up with that again.

I went months without him crossing my mind. I am happy in my life everything is finally where I want it. Obviously I feel lonely now and then but for the most part I am happy. But for some reason the last few weeks I keep getting so sad thinking about him it's all I can do to stop myself from crying. I miss him so much. I don't know why I can't forget him. I don't know how to deal with this. I can't forget him. I can't get over him. I just need someone to tll me how to fix this.

Please I need to stop this pain.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It is hard to get over someone. Some people take days others can take months. There is no shame in it. Have you taken any steps to get over him? Try Google search how to get over an ex. Hopefully it will help you take steps to overcome the feelings.

    • I've done everything. Doesn't work.

    • Show All
    • Try dating other guys. Get back out there and find someone else. Time to move on.

    • I have and I am. They just annoy me.

Most Helpful Girl

  • I have a feeling that you never really properly healed. There are stages. It's okay to still have hopes after the break up and it's also okay to be pathetic. Just let it take over you as long as it's needed. Cry it out, be angry, avoid people, do whatever it makes you feel doing. Fuck what others think. I tried doing everything that people suggested, tried being busy and with friends and families and hobbies, it didn't work. For some people it does but not for me. It just made it worse. When I realized that, I was literally locked in my room for months. Okay, not locked but you know what I mean. I accepted the fact that I still love him and I spent months crying, being angry, avoiding friends, etc. And that really helped lol. Eventually I was so sick of me and tired of that bullshit. Finally, I realized I need a huge change in my life and I moved abroad. Yes I needed THAT big of a change. I moved to the other side of the planet and literally started fresh. It wasn't easy getting here, I had to work and study hard to make it happen. One way or another working and studying hard kept me busy from thinking about him, and the ultimate goal (moving abroad) kept me motivated. Once I got here, all by myself, I had no time to think about him. I felt like a new person! There was just too many things to sort out and worry about then some loser from far away. Eventually I totally got over him, without even realizing it. Life MADE me getting over him. And I made in my life, I have an awesome carrier, lots of experience and lots of new friends, while he is still the same loser who didn't do anything with his life. I would NEVER go back to him.

    Basically, I'm not saying you have to move away too, but you need to set a goal in your life and go for it. Think about what you want and make it your priority. And also, if your ex is still around and with your friends, then don't hang out with them. I know it's hard but it's maybe for the best. Learn how to enjoy your own company and keep closest friends around, those who care about you will understand.

    • Thank you.

      I just wish it would work for me. I have been setting goals I've even accomplished a lot of them. I am perfectly happy being alone. I like myself, I'm happy with who I am. I'm working 4jobs trying to accomplish my goals. Maybe I do need to just go far far away

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • Listen girl. You are so much better than how this man treated you. He hurt you. He made you cry. He did terrible things. You are an amazing person born to do amazing things. Do you think you were put on earth to be this guy's girlfriend? Do you think that all you're worth is to be the rug this man steps on? You are so much better and every relationship failed is a lesson learned. You will find a guy who will never make you cry the whole time you two are together. You will. So why settle for less, there are millions and billions of fish in the sea. And if you tell me not one of these is going to be better then you're clearly lying to yourself. Get over him. Would you keep a friend in your life if they kept hurting you? No. So why keep him. You deserve better and will find better all you need to do is get over him and start living your life. Who is he to make you feel this way. They say a person is what they do. What did he do? Hurt you. He's a symbol of pain. Why keep that in your life. Girl focus on yourself because there is a whole world out there waiting for you.

  • honestly this is tough.. i'm not sure why you all of a sudden started thinking of him. i think you just feel lonely and your brain is reminding you of all the fun and good times you had with him. they say time heals all wounds, and it really does. it hasn't even been a full year, and in some cases relationships can take longer to get over. it's different with everyone.
    just try to think about how happy you are in life, and how much better off you are without him. perhaps spend more time with friends, maybe meet someone new. you need positive distractions, thats all.
    good luck with all of this :( </3

    • Honestly I think new people are the reason I started thinking about him. I'm not lonely though. I have a life full of people that love me. Biggest problem is I live in a small town. It's not just my friends it's our friends. I have to deal with him all the time no matter how much I try to avoid.

      Knowing I'm happy doesn't help
      I can't possibly spend more time with friends
      I have so many distractions in my life I think that's all they are I can be happier than ever and all of a sudden I just remember how much I miss him.

    • ohh i see. maybe you need to get out and travel and have experiences with newer people that won't really know him.. lol. either way you're not stupid, it's just a tough situation to deal with.

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