Should I break up with love of my life?

We actually really love eachother and I love him so much it hurts that I feel I have to let him go. The thing is, he isn't your typical guy. He is very emotional and he acts like a girl when he is affectionate sometimes and I feel like I'm not even the girl in the relationship. Other than this we are perfect for eachother. He says he will change for me and try to be more of a guy and do whatever I want.

What should I do?
  • Stay with him
    Vote A
  • Leave him
    Vote B
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Most Helpful Guy

  • Here is what I think. You love him 80% and your relationship 80% perfect. You have this 20% problem. So things are not perfect, but not bad enough to break up, but since you aren't 100% happy you don't know what to do. Short answer, break up. You will never be 100% happy with him. You cannot change him. I think he is hiding more of this femininity from you and one day he will reveal to you he isn't the man you thought he was. You are torn between breaking up and staying because you are good person and you know breaking up will hurt him and you don't want to hurt anyone. You also feel selfish and guilty for wanting to break up and therefore this also holds you back from leaving this non-perfect relationship and finding your true happiness. I say you have to over come your guilt and understand you have to think about yourself and that your own happiness has to come first sometimes even if this means hurting someone else. Gain the courage and strength to go for what you want, end this relationship before you wake up one day and realize 15 years have gone by and you still wonder if your life would have been better with someone else!

    • Thank you for not thinking I'm a bad person :( I am crying. I am so pathetic. I'm going to try another person's suggestion of not talking to him for a few days and see if I suddenly realize I love all of him :( Do you think this is even a good idea or I'm just kidding myself.

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    • Okay thank you :'(

    • Really thank you so much

Most Helpful Girl

  • You don't seem to love all of him and want him to change. That's not exactly good... it can lead to resentment and indifference later on. If you are unhappy with his personality, it might be best to end the relationship. He should find someone who appreciates him, and you should find someone that you are looking for. Do you really want him to change being affectionate? I don't know honestly, it's one thing to change a bad habit, but changing a personality doesn't sit well with me.

    • Yeah I completely agree :( I don't want him to change because I love him and it's wrong for him to do that. He feels he could never ever find anyone else. He had nothing before me. Advice on this?

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    • I can only imagine how difficult this must be on both of you. I wish you luck!

    • Yeah it's really hard on him too.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4


    You make it look easy.

    • You should leave him so he won't have to be stuck with an ungrateful idiot like you and can finally grow a spine.

    • Lol thanks for your opinion

    • exactly this

  • How are you perfect for each other if you're asking fucking strangers questions about leaving him?

    Incidentally, how would you describe his way of showing affection, as opposed to the way a "man" show's affection? Does he not hit you enough or something?

    • He giggles, acts like a little child, clings onto my arm, talks high pitchley, likes me being dominant 100% of the time. He likes it when i do manly things to him like kiss him against the wall, am always in charge of the kiss, call him my little boy and stuff.

    • The last few I don't "really" see a huge issue with cause they just sound more like fetishes, though I suppose I could appreciate how the others would bother you.

      You still haven't answered how you're perfect for each other, however. I mean again, you say this, but then you ask the opinions of a bunch of strangers on whether to leave the poor bastard or not. I mean why should we have any say in it? Obviously if you even ask that question to begin with, you're having very clear doubts about the relationship with him.

      I mean I get it, you wanna be slapped, strangled and fucked like a blow-up doll, but at least let HIM know that's how you feel so you can end it with some dignity. He says he'll change, but I don't really think you can bolster dominance in somebody.

      Ya know, unless he gets drafted to go fight Ukraine for Putin.

    • We are perfect for eachother. He fully accepts me for who I am and encourages me to be me which is so fucking hard to say because I no longer feel that way for him. We share similar interests and make eachother happy and don't even have to talk to be comfortable. We know what the other one is thinking. We know how to cheer the other up. Through bad times, we always have eachother. He is a bestfriend to me. I guess we aren't perfect for eachohter though :( Because the way he became over time... I just don't love him that way :( and the image i have of him in my head is the guy I fell in love with in the first place :( Sorry for wasting your time.

  • As hard as it is for you I think you should break up, why? because a woman needs a true man and not a guy who behaves like kid, not a guy who behaves like a girl, a woman need a man who would make her feel feminine and your guy just doesn't seem to do that or doesn't know how to do that so he needs to learn that, he needs to make that change in himself and only he can do that.

    Hence there are two ways one is you can wait for him if you want but then the problem in waiting is you never know if he will even change or not, plus you never know when exactly will he change so I would say that would be a waste of time to wait for him to change, moreover you can't wait forever right? so I don't think this way would be suitable for you but if you want to wait then what you can do is to give him some time frame, say 6 months or so or a 1 year depending on how " PATIENT" you are as a person and see if he has made that change that he promised you. If he has then nothing like it and if he hasn't then you know what to do.

    Second option is if you don't have a lot of patience and if you think breaking up is the best way that would also be a good decision because one is it will be good knowing the fact that you didn't want to be with a man who behaves like a girl! and who doesn't make you feel feminine! and that you went after what you want. He can also take inspiration from this break up and perhaps become a true man someday so that his relationship would not be like what is there today.

    I know it's a tough choice for you, and moreove he has promised to you so that must also be there on your mind, I know I can understand it's hard for you to take a decision but I hope my opinion helps you at least helps you clear your mind. I hope you will do what's best for you but remember whatever decision you take I hope you won't come to regret it.

    Good luck.

    • Don't you dare say he has to change. He is perfect the way he is. But not for me apparently but he doesn't have to become a macho man. That's not who he is.

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    • First of all my sincere apologies for responding late. Your next step?

      Well since you said that one aspect is stopping you from loving him fully then what I would suggest you is that just be his best friend, if you have any feelings for him more than friends, then you need to let go of those feelings because you yourself said you can't love him fully and love can't be forced, never! so do what you are doing out of your own will, that is you like him as a best guy friend, so continue that and sit down with him and make it clear to him, be polite, be honest, of course he would feel bad, even hurt but if he considers you as a true friend then he will understand.

      Hence your next step is to be clear with him, discuss with him that you will always like him/love him as a best friend only, and that you don't want him to change for anyone. Hope you understood and you got my point.

    • Yeah thanks for this. It's so weird reading this advice cuase it's 100% true and I did actually break up with him. And yes we are the best of friends still. Thanks so much for your support and help. I've gotten over my feelings (mostly) and it's been really good :)

  • What ever it happens Stay with him.

    That guy is like me, would do anything to stay together with you. He's happy with you and you are, so stay with him.

    Perfect Person doesn't exist, what exist is having a person that will be with you on right, bad, confuse, etc moments.
    If you think you aren't the right person for him, you are wrong. For him you are the person who wants to be with.

    so.. STAY WITH HIM!

    • Yeah I'm perfect for him, but he isn't the guy I want. We are just friends now, best friends. I don't love him anymore mate.

    • was your choice

What Girls Said 5

  • im sorry, but men have emotions too, and just cause he's emotionally it doesn't mean he's girly, that's a really old and terrible stereo type that needs to stop happening.

    • He's actually a girl in a guys body.

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    • yeah we thnk that what he must be

    • Welp try and be supportive of him, everyone needs support so try to be there for him, especially if you want him to be there for you when you need him.

  • Why are you breaking up with him? You love each other- what's the problem?

    • Well it's really complex but the main thing is, he acts like a girl at times. And I'm straight. He gets like this when he is affectionate and wants to hold my arm and stuff, which I don't mind but he gets so clingy :( I do sound like an idiot but really it's hard to get our situation unless you were us :( So i don't mind people calling me stupid or something. Because I understand their view.

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    • I understand now. I don't think it's so terrible. She's trans and in order for her to be who you want her to be, she can't be herself. I think you ought to break up, my love. It doesn't sound like you're good for each other right now.

    • Thanks for your opinion :( I feel so stupid having to ask this question about him online :( But you were of some help so thank you

  • You are being kinda shallow

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    • He won't :( He relied on me for happiness.

    • Then he needs to learn not to. Your relationship sounds unhealthy

  • I feel sorry for him, he deserves much better than you. Leave him so that he can be happier elsewhere.

    • Remember he is my bestfriend. And I don't judge him. There is nothing wrong with falling out of love with someone if they change in the relationship in a way that makes you not feel for them emotionally that way. Now I may leave him, but he will always be my bestfriend.

  • why would you break up with him because he acts more emotional than you at times? It's not a bad thing he shows his emotions, dont worry. If you really love him stay with him.


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