How Can I Get my Ex-Boyfriend Back?

I cheated on my boyfriend (now "ex") and I want to get him back.

I just moved to a new town for school and met this guy. I was a virgin when I met him and I fell in love. we had sex two weeks into the relationship. then I got drunk on Halloween while he was away and another guy took advantage of me, I didn't have the sense to stop him. I told my boyfriend the very next day, I told him how much he means to me and how I never thought I would be a cheater, I'm not that type of girl. he told me he was glad that I told him, but he wanted to talk anyway because we have been taking things pretty fast. I was in love with him and he wasn't in love with me. we broke up but we still saw each other constantly because we work together. we flirt at work, we go to parties together and we started having sex again. we talked about it and he doesn't know what he wants right now so we are still broken up. I started seducing him the last few weeks hoping that if I slept with him more he would realize that he does want to be with me. at one point our co-workers (who like to joke around) placed bets on how long it would take us to get back together. we still go party on weekends together, and if you saw us on the street you would think we were dating. he takes me out to dinner and we see movies together. we are really good friends. we stopped sleeping together, or rather he told me no one night. I can tell he feels disgusted with himself for sleeping with me when I'm not his girlfriend. but at the same time he doesn't want to say no to sex. I love this boy so much and I am willing to do anything to make him happy. he deserves it.


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What Guys Said 1

  • I'm going to give you a very blunt reality check - so prepare yourself, I'm not trying to be rude.

    [ then I got drunk on halloween while he was away and another guy took advantage of me, I didn't have the sense to stop him ]

    - Did you call the cops and report it as sexual abuse / rape / otherwise? If you didn't - he didn't TAKE "advantage", you gave him the opportunity to continue. It's easy to scream "Get the f*** off me" and have a thousand guys run into the room ready to beat the bejesus out of him. Let alone - calling the cop reinforces the truth if he DID take advantage of you. If he didn't take advantage of you - say it how it was. You didn't think you were a cheater, but you did - and your sorry.

    - By making excuses, it looks worse than before. Just say things how they are and expect him to be hurt.

    [ (No relationship) + we go to parties together and we started having sex again ]

    - The standard between you and the guy you like - is that you both are FWB. There is nothing there for an emotional attraction. This guy likes you which is clear; however, the whole cheating thing is digging at him.

    You want him to love you? Give it 6 months of no sex / no kissing / no relationship - just pure friendship; then come back and start the interactions again - this will wipe the memoirs of it being "Recent" which will give you a better stance than you do now.

    Another couple things - which is a bit of nagging, but take it from me - drinking to a beligerant state like that... Will get you killed. I wound up in ICU for 6 weeks and my next is still broken - you want the x-rays? Or are you gonna keep thinking it's fun? You're only hurting yourself - and I don't know you personally, so realize - that I'm only saying this to wake you up.

    I wish the best for you, I'm not trying to be rude

    (P.s. Yes, I was cheated on.. My best friend "slept with" the woman I wanted to marry after a 4 year relationship... twice.) - making my answer... biased - but with good composure IMO

    Best regards,

    ArtistBBoy

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    • Yeah I'm not buying the whole "I didn't have the sense to stop the guy taking advantage of me".

      That's either sexual assault or the girl was horny when she was drunk. If she didn't report sexual assault, and it doesn't seem like she feels that way, I'm leaning towards the horny part.

      If I were the guy, I'd move on, to be honest.

What Girls Said 1

  • The fact that he is still talking to you, spending time with you, flirting etc. are all good signs. Right now he is working out some emotions on the relationship. He obviously cares for you but things progressed very quickly & then you had an indiscretion. You need to give him some space to process his thoughts and emotions. I am not saying to ignore him or not hang out. I am merely suggesting that you continue to suppress the sexual aspect of the relationship and don't mention reconciling. Continue doing what you both have been doing so you can re-build trust and the foundation of the relationship. When he is ready, I am sure he will broach the subject of the relationship and go from there.

    I understand what I am suggesting is difficult. However, the ball is in his court right now given the circumstances. Good luck.

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