Being friends with you ex: Realistic or no?

My ex and I broke up a bit over a month ago. He said he needed time to think, and 5 days later I called him with the status of our relationship. He said he didn't want to be with me basically and "didn't know how to tell me," so we broke up over the phone. Wasn't happy about that, because it was hours before a concert I paid tickets for us to go to.

anyway, we tried being civil and I said no hard feelings purely because I didn't want to blame myself for the wrongs of what already happened. He graviously appreciated it and apologized for ending things over the phone. I said I wanted to be on good terms, and made a point to try to give his friend the rest of his things, even though we couldn't meet up. My ex said I could "do what I want with them unless I insist on giving it back too, then that's fine." I said that I would just rather see him in person bc I miss him and this is weird, and if he is open to it, then I'd be okay with that, if not now he knows. It didn't happen and he didn't answer, so I let it go and tried moving on. He congratulated me on my new job when I announced it on social media, and because of my process of moving on and a little hurt from the fact that he left right when I was solidifying new beginnings that I thought were with him, he goes out of his way to contact me. I deleted him from social media and did not respond.

then, the friend I was supposed to meet with to give him my ex's stuff back contacts me about wanting the items all of a sudden but for just his benefit. I let the situation go, opting to just move on. Then my ex congratulated me on graduating from college, literally minutes after I walked across the stage and said he hopes I'm doing well and celebrating. Once again, it stung because I thought he would be there for me with this and he also turned down my request to meet in person, so of course I didn't respond at all. What is he trying to do here? Guys?


Most Helpful Guy

  • No, its pretty unrealistic to try to be best friends with your ex and think it isn't going to get in the way of other and potential relationships.

    You just have to leave him in the past forever.

    • What would you describe his actions as? I don't understand.

    • He's trying to be diplomatic even though he was the one that brought it to an end.

      Basically I think he's sucking up to you

Most Helpful Girl

  • Personally, i believe if two people who have had a history together can remain friends , it's either because they were never really in love or they still are

    If there is no children involved i can't see the point in being friends, it just complicates your life and jeopardizes any future relationships. It brings out the stress in you, not the good in you.

    You took the breakup very well and responded to it in a mature way. He can see your life goes on without him... it probably hurts him that you can be happy and have a life without him in it. Even though he ended the relationship.

    It appears to me he still likes you and maybe holds onto the thought that you will get back with him.


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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 1

  • Horrible, stupid idea. It's just an excuse to keep them around instead of detach and part ways. It's going to kill you when he starts dating someone else.


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