Girls, Can't stop missing my ex girlfriend and it's really hurting me?

I was with my ex girlfirend for two years and she ended it about two weeks ago. We have had problems for a while but I didn't think the relationship wasn't fixable. She previously ended it about two months ago but then missed me a lot and we started talking again after just a week separated. I was trying my best to do better and be a better boyfriend. I'm not going to say it was back to being a perfect relationship but I recognized things that I needed to change and was making a lot of effort into changing things about myself to become a better person. We only had a couple of bad days in more than two months, but apparently that wasn't good enough. She started acting different and she told me that she wasn't happy anymore and she broke up with me. I'd be lying if I said I'm okay with it because I'm really an emotional wreck right now. I miss her so much and still love her with all of my heart. But, I'm afraid it's completely over. And, I can't get over it. I really thought she was the one for me and I never imagined life without her. I want her back in my life so badly. It's really eating at me. Any advice is greatly appreciated.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • In the two months you got back together she probably wasn't entirely feeling it anymore and tried to make it work. You put in the effort to change which is a noble thing to do, but her lack of feelings could have made her feel guilty. Hence why she started to act differently towards you. It takes two to fix a relationship and the initial break up probably wasn't entirely your fault. She probably wasn't ready to look at her flaws in the relationship and work on them so a split was the best option.

    I'm gonna throw a few cliches in here so bare with me. It gets better. It's only been two weeks and time does in fact heal. A clean break with little to no contact with her is the best idea because it allows you to heal properly. It hurts, and it sucks, but it's effective.

    You already realized what you did wrong in the relationship and worked at bettering yourself which is half the battle. Don't stop just because you broke up. Try to learn from it so you won't make the same mistakes in a new relationship. Focus on yourself and building yourself back up so the next girl you fall for will be an even better match for you. This girl isn't likely coming back and you need to know that's okay too. She isn't the only compatible woman out there for you, and in due time you will see that.

    I'm sorry this hurts so much. But the fact that it does shows that you really did care for someone and experienced something beautiful and that's a grand part of life. Cherish the good times you had with her, and keep them in a special place. Just because you are no longer together doesn't mean that the memories have to go too. Just try not to dwell on them

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    • Very insightful and good advice.

      I just don't understand how people change their minds like that. How do you say you love someone and then when things get a little tough, you just quit? I really just don't understand that. I guess my love just doesn't vanish so easily. I just don't get how you fall in love with someone and care about someone so much, but then you can hurt them so badly like this. I've heard all the cliche sayings from my friends the last couple of weeks and it doesn't help. I understand that she isn't the only one out there but I'm 33 years old and she was the only girl that I've ever truly loved. I've dated a lot over the years but she was it for me. She was my best friend and I hate thinking about how I lost that. I've honestly never felt this kind of hurt before.

    • Show All
    • Sometimes when things end aimiably the break up can be even more tough. When it's a whirlwind of arguing and destructive behavior it gives you almost a shield of anger and resentment to lick your wounds behind. You get to pretend that they were horrible for breaking up with you, and you get to stay mad awhile before the intense hurt has a chance to sink in. Because you don't have that high emotion to fuel you, the next few months are going to be unbearably hard unfortunately. Oh the downsides of being a mature responsible adult!! (Bad joke).

      If anything at least you did get to talk things out, it could help with the whole closure aspect, and if things do wind up working out in the end there will be a lot less resentment to work through. But don't count on her coming back. She tried to once and it didn't work so it's less likely to work in the future. Let your feelings flow so it'll be easier/healthier to work through them, but try not to dwell on them either

    • It absolutely kills me on the inside when I think that she's completely done. I just really don't get how you can say you love someone and then be done with them like that. That is just something I can't wrap my mind around. That just doesn't sound like true love to me.

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What Girls Said 2

  • Trying talking to her and asking if a friendship is possible. If she can't do it leave it alone. For now... if she can, then you need to set the romantic feelings aside for now as well, and just be her friend. It might be difficult but if you believe a person is worth it. Then do what you need to do to be able to keep them in your life.

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    • I tried contacting her today but she ignored it. I'm pretty sure she is done with me. I didn't do anything majorly wrong but from the way she's acting... Seems like she's done.

    • Even so I still say give it time. You never know what the future holds

    • I think it's harder to keep hope alive when people start moving on.

  • Go out with your friends, just distract yourself.

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    • Easier said than done... I moved to another state for the relationship and don't have a lot of friends here. Plus I was laid off about six months ago. I'm going to try doing some volunteer work. But, I don't think anything will take my mind off of this. It's really hurting me.

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