Why did he just suddenly disappear?

I had been talking / video chatting to a guy for about a month that I met on a dating site. We were going to be doing long distance for a few months, then it would become short distance. (Was already planning to move)

It was going really well. We had a ton in common, got along great, and we both seemed to feel such a mutual connection with one another. He was so into me and planning to come see me sometime in the near future. He even took his profile on the dating site down before I did and then I did too afterwards. He even referred himself to me as my boyfriend. Recently he had gone away to work and had a hectic schedule. He would text me typically in the morning and then at night briefly.

He had been ignoring me for the last 5 days. I thought it was because he was still working, (Which he was supposed to be until next week) but today I just reactivated my profile on the dating site and saw he was back on it and even online for that matter. I sent him a few messages on Skype and on the dating site basically telling him I would've appreciated it if he had told me he was done with me and goodbye. No response.

I'm just really confused as to what went wrong. Things were going so well and out of nowhere he just dropped me. It's not because he found someone else obviously since he is back on the dating site, and he was supposed to still be working and was not allowed to have his phone on him, but apparently that was not the case.

Any thoughts?


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Most Helpful Guy

  • Who knows? His feelings might have changed or getting women is just a game to him

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    • I just don't get it. He said he was looking for a serious relationship and someone to settle down with. We would video chat for hours... Even though we weren't "together" for that long it still feels like I wasted so much time.

    • He's a spineless ass

    • That's for sure.

Most Helpful Girl

  • While there are decent people on dating sites who are truly looking for commitment, there's unfortunately also those who are on there to kill some time, get some compliments, have some fun, go on a few dates with nothing long-term on mind, etc. It sounds like he is the type of person who is on there looking to pass some time and to have some short-term fun. I've used dating sites in the past but I've gotten so frustrated with the weirdos and those who clearly aren't looking for something serious that I avoid them like a plague now.

    I have no idea what this guy is trying to achieve. He must be a pretty horrible person deep down inside to mess with someone like that. I mean he clearly made you think that he had serious intentions since he said he was your boyfriend and removed his profile, making you think he was done with his search. I guess he just got bored. It's not your fault. You did nothing wrong. You're probably not his first victim either.

    I suggest you stop trying to message him. He isn't worth your time. Imagine what a sad and misguided person he must be to be able to play with another person's feelings this way.

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    • I'm not messaging him anymore... he claimed he was looking for a serious relationship but maybe he is just a sociopath playing with people's heads. I thought I had never had a connection like that before.. I can't believe he ended up doing this to me.

    • It sucks when people play with you like that. I don't know if he's a sociopath but it's possible. Something's obviously not wired correctly with people who can do something like this to another person.

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What Guys Said 0

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What Girls Said 2

  • You never know here, dear, just Who is behind that computer curtain and with a press of a Button... He is back on the dating site.
    You are Right, he probably Hadn't 'Found someone,' but he grew cold duck feet when he woke up and realized he was getting knee deep into something he was Not raring and ready to do and tha twas to be Hooked at the hip with you.
    He is back in the limelight and scouting and skirting for Other girls, which he most likely has found tons to talk with and flirt with. God only knows if this player is Out there Playing the same ol game he played with you, but I do Know that 'Goodbye' was the best thing you could have told him.
    It's a gamble being on an Online date mate site but like I always Say: Plenty of fish in the sea.
    Good luck. xx

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    • Go slow this time, I see you say you are back on. Do not wear your heart on your sleeve. You need to go slow with the flow with Joe because you do not know them well enough to know what they may do with you as far as a relationship. Many toms today say one thing and do something else when getting scared of Commitment. xx

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    • Thank you. Yeah that is the one thing I am very thankful for is that it happened now instead of later. I've been thinking about it all day, but who wouldn't? It's just confusion and that feeling of betrayal, but I've been hurt before and have moved on every time afterwards. At least now I have new excitement of meeting somebody else.

    • It has happened to a lot of guys and girls and being an advocate for scams and scammers on Fb with clubs that I belong to, I have seen a lot of it, even on FB! Just go slow with each Joe and do not be so quick to go on the cam. Although it is good to know who you are speaking to first, sex is usually the reason sometimes of the season. Get to know one another with texting or even phone time if possible. xxoo

  • That's why I hate meeting people over dating sites. 90% of them are jerks who just look for some fun and then they disappear. Move on, it's nothing wrong that you did, he is just that type of guy. Honestly I would just laugh it off. Urgh

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    • That's what I'm trying to do... My sister met her husband on a dating site but it took her forever. I'm back on the site as well trying to find someone new.

    • And it's like this has actually happened to me before on the website, but I would usually talk to someone for about 2 days before thy disappeared. This went on way longer than a couple of days so that's why I thought something was really there. And the way he took his profile down made it seem like he was serious about me.

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