Is this normal?

My two year live-in boyfriend broke up with me about a year ago. He dumped me out of the blue saying that we were incompatible. He profited on a temporary long distance to dump me cowardly via text. I was in total shock. I never realized he was so unhappy, but apparently he wanted to leave "months/years ago". About a month later I discovered that the "incompatibility" was actually another girl he met at work a couple of months before breaking up with me. Apparently they connected on FB right away (I did not even notice, I was not checking on him...) and were together immediately after he broke up with me. I have the feeling she has been stalking me through him when I did not even know about her existence... what are the odds that she shares *exactly* my same interests? I mean, exactly the same. Seems like she does everything to emulate what I do... She probably has been planning behind my back, with no shame! And he let her. :(

I am not going into the details of this break up, pathetic anf paiful. But I can well say it was the WORST experience in my entire life. My entire world collapsed. I paid so much for the break up, emotionally. I was so devastated. I felt he took advantage of me, using the trust I had in him. He lied to me, I feel our entire relationship was only a big effing lie. I lost my self esteem, I (still) cannot stop comparing myself with the other girl, that seems happier (of course!), prettier, smarter and overall better than me in every way. I got so depressed, that I am still not feeling well. Sometimes I feel so sad. I paid financially too, I lost my job and I was so depressend that I could not do anything for months and I am still undemployed.

I am still so full of anger... I am waiting for the day things will turn bad for them too... They deserve to go through what they put me through! I do hope karma exists... I just can't let go. And a year is gone. This is not normal, is it? :(


Most Helpful Guy

  • Everyone goes through anger after a breakup so this is perfectly understandable to be going through. The worst part is that he did not even try to break up in a soft way, instead he just didn't care about how you felt and immediately got with someone else.

    • Nooo, no soft way at all! He *pretended* to care, occasionally saying something (that looked) sympathetic. But in fact, he just did what was convenient for him. Like his coworker was such a great catch he could not wait.
      The way he chose to break up "softly" was to do it cowardly at the distance and to lie about it. He lied about it most likely 1) to cover up that he was already sleeping with someone else and to avoid any kind of conflict with me and shame in front of family and friends and 2) to continue taking advantage of me... :( Seems to me he wanted all the stuff I left at home while I was away - pretty much everything except his own clothes: from furniture to food, clothes, sport equipment and personal care products! When I came back he said he was interested in buying my stuff... which I later on learned he shared with his new girlfriend while I was away. I was so emotional and disgusted when I went there to pick my stuff up... that moment could not last longer.
      It's so hard to let go!

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What Girls Said 1

  • its totally normal.


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