I broke up with my girlfriend four weeks ago. We had an amazing two year relationship, but I feel like I've matured and she hasn't. We are both very mature for our age, but I feel like I have moved to a different stage in my life. I talked to her today and we agreed to try and give the relationship another shot, and if it doesn't work then we'll move on. I have a tiny feeling that this was a mistake and that it's a hopeless cause, but part of me can't move on until I know that we tried and that it didn't work. I'm planning on calling it off again, for good, if my feelings don't improve AT ALL by next week. I would give myself more time, but I feel impatient about seeing if it can work and moving on. I feel bad because a small part of me wants it to not work, and this will make me hesitant to put effort into fixing the relationship. Any advice?
Most Helpful Girl
I think you know deep down inside what the right thing to do is. If you feel the relationship is going to go nowhere, it would be best to put an end to it now instead of stringing her along and the sooner it's called off, the quicker you can begin to heal and move on.0
- Show AllShow Less
Most Helpful Guy
This is what you should do:
When you broke up with her you should start with the NC Rule (No Contact Rule).
What is No Contact Plan?:
The no contact rule simply means not contacting your ex. Let’s just assume your ex is a drug that you are addicted to and the only way you can stop addiction of this drug is go cold turkey. That’s exactly what you are doing here. You are going cold turkey on your ex. Because in many cases people are addicted to their ex and they do need a cold turkey approach to break their addiction. When you go no contact, it means:
⦁ No Text Messages
⦁ No phone calls
⦁ No going over to their house
⦁ No accidentally bumping into them
⦁ No Facebook messages or IM of any kind
⦁ No contacting them via your mutual friends
⦁ No status messages on Facebook (or any other social media) which are obviously meant for them
Why you should do it?:
As I mentioned before, it’s like breaking an addiction to your ex. You have to learn to live without him or her. And no contact is the best way to do it. But you might be wondering why should you learn to live without them if you want to get back with them. It’s because unless you learn to live without them you will always be needy and desperate whenever you see them or talk to them and that will make you look unattractive to your ex. Nobody wants to be with a needy and desperate person and if you want to get your ex back, you will have to become a happy and confident person.
How long is the No Contact Rule?:
It really depends on the type of breakup you had and how much desperate and needy you have been since the breakup. But I recommend a minimum of at least 30 days. However, if you think your breakup was exceptionally bad then you can go to 60 days or even 90 days.0
- Show AllShow Less