Is it wrong to like the ex boyfriend of a girl on my team, even though me and the girl aren't friends?

I'm starting to talk to the ex-boyfriend of this girl on my volleyball team. Me and her aren't close, actually we aren't even friends. He asked me out and we are starting to really like each other. Once the girl on my volleyball team heard about me talking to her ex she got really hurt and now she won't talk to me. What should I do? Her ex-boyfriend asked me if it's a good idea for me and him to stop talking to each other until everything cools down. But I don't know if that will help. What should we do? And he talked to her about everything and she said that she doesn't care, but I think she is lying.

Updates:
It's been 5 days since he told me he started to have feelings for me, and he isn't talking to me. AND GUESS WHAT? I saw him and his ex having lunch, just them two, every single day this week. He is a douche and love sucks!

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Most Helpful Guy

  • I don't think it's wrong to like him. They broke up, he's a free agent.

    I also think she wasn't entirely telling the truth when she said she didn't care, but it HURTS to see your ex with someone else.

    I think it's fine to date him, and don't try and hide it from her like it's a secret but neither should you flaunt it (i.e.: "[Dave] was so sweet last night!"). It might be a good idea to tone it down for a while when you're around her or in a public place, but you shouldn't knock the relationship entirely because of someone else's emotions. Be kind to her, because she's probably hurtin' bad right now, but that's her stuff, and you have yours.

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What Guys Said 6

  • i knew a girl from college who was on the volleyball team and from what I saw she was usually pretty close to her teammates so I'm surpsied you don't know this girl that well if your on the same team .

    but if there not dating anymore and haven't been for a while anyways there isn't really anything wrong with you dating him or being friends with him , I mean there broken up so I don't see what right she has to say anything .

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  • reasoning thayt way and taking the six degrees of separation principle you could hardly talk to anyone you know: link

    Tthe girl on your volleyball team is exagerating in her jealousy. No wonder he's her ex.

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  • I going to be blunt. It did not work out between your team mate and her ex, if she has a problem with you seeing him, it is her problem. You already talked to her and she said she didn't care.

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  • You aren't friends and they are split up, what's the problem?

    If everyone worried about everyone else's ex's then no-one would hook up.

    If you like the guy and he likes you, go for it.

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  • Women operate differently, so you probably need some advice from the opposite sex. Still, just the same, I think what someone said before me about just not flaunting it is a good idea. Wait for her to find someone else and see if things blow over.

    I'm in a similar conundrum, except I have to consider both the way girls work and the way guys work... 2 totally different things.

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  • Update: there's plenty of fish in the sea

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    • Haha, yess that is very true :)

      and thank you for answering my question.

What Girls Said 8

  • Don't worry about it, and even if she is a little saddened it doesn't matter; she'll get over it. If you like him then good for you and make the most of it.

    To be honest, even if she was your friend it shouldn't matter... so long as the reason for them breaking up wasn't that he was mean/psycho or anything.

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  • Honustly why wouldn't you go out with him just because this girl seems upset with you. You never talked to her or was friends with her in the first place. She's just probably upset at the fact that her ex wanted to go out with someone else and is just getting upset at both of you. I'd say what ever and go out with him but that's up to you. Talk to him about it and see what he thinks. Good Luck :]

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  • just go up to her and be like

    hey____

    I just wanted to say that I really like____

    and I would like to go out with him and I hope that ur ok with that

    I wanted to tell you because ur my team mate and I thought it wouldn't be right for me not to tell u

    and I really hope ur ok with it

    p.a tell me how it goes

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    • So I did what you said and I told her that I liked him and her response was " Oh well you are just the rebound" I was just like "Umm okay" and I walked away. Turns out I really was only the "girl I get with just to get my ex jelous" Now the guy is possibly back with his ex, and I am just left heartbroken :( He didn't even bother to tell me that he started talking to her again. Grr, guys are horrible.

  • oh.kay its the girl's fault for letting the guy go.

    they're not together so you guys go ahead and go for it.

    u evn said it yourself that you guys aren't close so it shuldnt evn matter if she's not talking to you becuz you guys nvr really did in the first place.

    dont let her make you feel guilty for no reason.

    thats why we ex's, rite?

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    • Thanks you soo much for this answer.

      I don't feel guilty anymore, but the guy turned out to be an ass, so now I'm just sad that I even wasted my time with him.

    • Im glad that I could help

  • this was a lot like my situation, a guy started talking to me RIGHT when he and his girlfriend broke up. I'm pretty hurt right now so I suggest you just find a new guy.

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    • You're completely right. It's just that I feel so stupid to have fallen in his trap, you know what I mean? But it's true, I need to just move on and watch out next time for those type of guys. I hope you are doing weel, and don't let that situation bring you down.

  • go for it! you talked about it too, so she can't say poop!

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  • I don't think so ..

    I think it's aright

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  • It doesn't matter because you are not boyfriend and girlfriend.

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