Did I make a terrible mistake by breaking up?

Broke up with someone I was seeing for 2 years because there was no commitment. He would generally bring up marriage but never commit to me. I didn't even get a reply back and there has been no communication ever since - a little over a month.
Now I'm feeling that I took the wrong step and want to go back to him? But I'm not sure if it's a good idea?
He really liked me and loved spending time with me but I was never really a priority. It's just that I miss him terribly and the fact that I was the dumper is keeping him from initiating any contact - ego problem I guess. Please help.


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Most Helpful Girl

  • If you wanted marriage and he didn't, then think you made the right decision. It sounds to me like he may want marriage in the future, but he wasn't ready for it at the time. If you are ready to settle down, then maybe it was for the better?

    I know that when you dump a guy, sometimes you will regret your decision. I think that is pretty normal. I'm curious to know why exactly you broke up with him?

    From what you have written, it sounds like he wasn't making time for you and wasn't really making you a priority in his life.

    Let me ask you something. If you were married to him and he was ignoring you, how would that make you feel?

    If having a commitment was important to you, and you talked about it and he never really felt compelled to move forward, perhaps it is better that you are now free. Think about it this way. You now have a chance to meet a guy who is going to make you a priority in his life. Someone who will make time for you.

    I don't think you made a mistake. If you truly felt he wasn't making time for you and wasn't treating you right, you made the right decision.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 4

  • Okay so you said yourself that he doesn't commit to you despite the fact that he loves you, if you want to go back to him then you need to decide are you okay with this, are you okay with the fact that he may never get married to you, yet wants to be with you? can you live with that? are you sure he will love you till the end?

    If the answers are yes, then you can consider going back to him otherwise you can hold on to your decision.

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  • The big question is can the reason you dumped him be put right. If not, then going back will just put you in the same situation as before. It sounds like you were unhapy before. Will you end up being unhappy again?

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  • You should give someone 4 chances over the course of a year, if they know what you want and you know want and do not confirm to it, it is proof that they want somthing different as you.

    Your decision was most likely right. If someone wants to be with you they will fight for you.

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  • You gave this guy 2 years of your life, and for what? Nothing, that's what. You didn't make a mistake, forget this guy and move on.

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What Girls Said 6

  • I don't think you made a mistake.
    Unless you're okay with being second to every thing else in his life, then you should contact him.

    You didn't like that role then.
    I don't think you'll like it now.

    Although it doesn't feel like it,
    You did the right thing!

    You have to move on.
    If he really wanted you back, he would contact you.
    Since he doesn't, that says a lot.

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  • It sounds like it was the right thing to do. You're only feeling this way right now because you miss him. 2 years is a long time and if you talked to him every day, it's hard to suddenly have no contact. So, how you feel is understandable. If he didn't make you a priority though and wouldn't commit then breaking up was most likely the right thing for you. It's going to take more time for you to start feeling better but that's okay. It's normal.

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  • From what I understand, you dumped him by text/email?

    If so, that was a major kick in the nads. If you two have been going out for 2 years and you just dropped him over text, it highlighted to him that you didn't really give a shit about this relationship and just focused on your personal goal of getting married.

    What ever stopped you from just having a talk about your future? Why did you break up without finding out his stance?

    He most likely treated you with the same courtesy i. e. if you didn't feel like he was worth having a face to face split, he didn't feel like you're worth bothering over.

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    • In person, whenever I would bring it up, he'd change the topic. I've tried so many times. He wouldn't let me say it all out either. So I don't know how else I could say it all. He barely calls. He would just do everything in the world to avoid the situation.

  • currently im also going through a break up. today 3 hours ago i broke up with my boyfriend because of the same reasons you mentioned but there was another Major reason and that was our relegions.
    well Don't think that you made a mistake. if a Man doesn't thinks of you as his Priority then it's simple to understand that he doesn't cares about you.. Plus if he liked you then he should be a committed person... why wasn't he committing? was he trying to convince his parents to marry you or maybe something else was going on?
    if you think that he was the right man for you and if he really truly liked you then go back to him and apologize sincerely. if not, then prevent yourself from going back to him. Try to forget him and Move on !

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  • You broke up w/him because he wouldn't marry you? But you guys were officially a couple, right? How old is he?

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  • I think you should give it a little more time. Don't feel you did anything wrong, you are entitled to happiness. If this is what you really wanted then you shouldn't regret your decision. He really needs to make a move if he wants the same things.

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