Guys, Why does it happen so often that you just lose interest?

I see so many stories about:

guy meets girl
guy falls in love with the girl
girl falls in love with the guy
they have a amazing relationship
after 1+ years guy starts being distant
girl notices and tries harder
guy gets bored
guy falls out of love with the girl

I'm not generalizing I know it happens with girls too, but just based on my own experience and what I heard and read here, it looks like this is more often to happen with guys.


Most Helpful Guy

  • It's important that a relationship has a strong foundation of trust that is built over time. But a lot of times relationships have fragile foundations making it easier for them to crumble. There are lots of reasons why someone (girls and guys alike) would lose interest. Maybe the sex is amazing... at first. But now it's all become routine. When was the last time you guys took a spontaneous trip or did something that neither of you have done together? Some guys, during slow lulls in a relationship, start to look around at others and see if they would be happier with something more interesting. As Barney Stinson said, "New is always better!" It's one of those things that is sometimes very true. He has you, so it's not as exciting anymore. We lose perspective on what's important, because if you dumped him today, he's be a crying mess completely lost. Some guys don't want to be in a relationship in the first place but feel like it's easier to just always have someone there. It comes down to understanding your partner and communicating your own thoughts and needs. Relationships are hard and are something that needs to be worked towards daily. It's possible you both need a break, just some time for him to get some perspective on the relationship and that it's better to be in a relationship with you is the best thing. Or he doesn't feel that way and decides to leave you. Either way, you know if he's willing to work with you and want to be with you. I'd rather be alone than in the wrong relationship. And that would include dating someone who has completely lost all interest in me. Girls make decisions based on emotion while guys usually make decisions based on logic. So appeal to his logical side, that he chose you and wanted to be with you. Remember, you can't force him to do anything, but you can help him if he is struggling. Who else would be better to understand him and work with him than his own girlfriend?

    • I think that being honest and having a strong communication is even more important then having a strong foundation of trust. I trusted my ex 100% because he was making me believe that nothing is wrong. Turned out that everything was wrong and it didn't matter that I trusted him. But if he told me the truth and was more opened up to me, I would know where I/we stand and could've done things differently. Maybe we would still breakup but at least I wouldn't be left out of the blue wondering what the hell happened. I get the feeling that guys are afraid to be honest because they are afraid that girl is not gonna understand, that she is gonna bitch out and complain and put even more pressure on him. I know for sure that if my ex (and some more of my exes) were completely honest I would've been supportive.

    • Don't give up.

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What Guys Said 3

  • Depends of kinda guy.

    Some of them really love her and stay together +5 years.

  • My trajectory was girl meets guy and decides she likes him, guy likes girl too.

    Girls decides he's husband material, guy isn't sure but if that's what she's aiming at, he'll give her the opportunity to sell him on the idea.

    Girl fails to convince guy and guy leaves so as not to waste her time and let her get on with finding someone else.

    • What is so wrong of thinking that guy is a husband material? Tbh I wouldn't stay in a relationship if I didn't think that he is a husband material after being together for 1+ years. I think in this situation, guy is the one to blame because he wasn't communicating properly. If he did, I'm sure girl would understand and back off. But in most cases, girls don't know where they stand because guys don't open up to them and don't let them know how they really feel. Your words and the fact that you are still with us tells us that we are overreacting and that nothing is wrong, but your actions tell us otherwise. And right there is where the problem is made, we start acting clingy and needy in fear of not losing you, and you start being bored and stressed by it. And then it's already too late. When all could've been solved with just communicating properly.

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    • So you go into a relationship knowing that you're not gonna marry her?

    • No. With almost all the girls I dated you go in not really knowing what exactly the other intends. I would always assume the woman wanted a trajectory towards permanent relations because that seems to be what women usually want. With two they made it plain they didn't.

      Things changed when she decides she definitely wants marriage with me and I am still unsure. I don't know about most guys but marriage seemed like it didn't offer much I wanted and demanded a lot I wasn't particularly inclined to give so I think it's only fair the woman has to bring a lot to the table, otherwise I could have happy gone on as a bachelor for the rest of my life. Once the women decides she wants to marry you you either have to agree or you should get out, otherwise you are wasting her time. That's my point.

  • I think when girls and guys do it they're taking their SO for granted, getting bored and then not remembering how much that person cares about them so they treat them badly when they lose interest.


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