Are there any guys that have had their heart broken in past and are now closed off to love completely? Commitment phobia?

Dated a guy like this for over a year. It's a very sad thing to see a smart funny guy be like this :( He dropped me so fast after all of our memories and left me with barely any explanation. this is like the 3rd tiem he's done it but i think the last


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  • I was this guy for a while. I think I'm different now because now I at least admit that I'd like a relationship but I still haven't been in one for a while. I wouldn't say I'm a commitment phobe though because it's not a fear I actually (especially now) like the idea of commitment I just never meet people I want to commit too. It's always something. She's smart and fun but not really physically attractive. She's cute but I often feel like I'm her tutor or life coach. She's almost perfect but unmanageably emotional. it's like I have such a clear view of what I want and such a big aversion to settling that I'm just stuck perpetually walking and looking. I feel love and actually believe I feel love more than most but it's just not the kinda love I want to marry. Then the feeling of having to be honest to girls about how I feel sucks even more.

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What Guys Said 3

  • yes. i don't even believe love is real. Far as commitment goes. i can promise not to go out looking for girls, and i can promise not to have an affair (ongoing relationship with another person). That's it though.

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  • When I was 20 I was ready to date, I got in shape I was confident that I'd find someone. But girls ruined girls for me. I was heavily romanticizing femininity in my art at the time, but it's ruined now. I just want friends, I want to be friends for a long time before I'd even consider committing to anyone. On top of that the idea of the classic monogamous relationship doesn't feel good at all to me. I think it's better to be poly, you're more likely to have someone to fall back on if things go bad. It's much harder to have the rug yanked from under you.

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  • Yeah but it only makes me more hesitant, I don't think I've had my heart broken so it's cool for me to just mess girls around when I get into relationships.

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