We were together for 6 years and she left me back in January. Umm so basically after she left I was a wreck for the first month and was clingy for yhe first week or 2. I have not spoken to her since and have left her alone completely. I did bump into her at the gym and we both waved and smiled. I then messaged her a month later asking how she was and talked and then asked if we could get a coffee. She said she didn't know what to say and that she didn't think it would be a good idea. I said I understand and we didn't talk much after that. She looks good and would. be interested in talking to her again. What should I do?
More about the situation... I have had bad anxiety for years and never got help which is why she left I think. I have been going to therapy and have turned the anxiety right aroundm. I feel good most days and want to have fun and enjoy life. What you think I should do?
Most Helpful Girl
You're making progress at bettering your life and situation which is a great thing, but make sure you are doing this for yourself and not the off chance of maybe getting her back. Things end for a reason, and your anxiety could have been a factor but I doubt it was the only one. She declined the coffee saying it probably wasn't a good idea because she's most likely aware that you want her back, and she doesn't know how to let you down easily. In most cases after a long relationship there is one person ready to move on and completely finished while the other is devestated. You also got together fairly young, and six years is a very long time to spend with someone at that age. She's most likely exploring her options and trying to grow as a person outside of the relationship just as you are. She could have done a lot of self reflecting and realized that she wasn't becoming the person she wanted to be while with you. She could need more time before thinking about going down that road again.
You put yourself out there by suggesting a coffee which suggest a conversation for either closure, reconciliation, or simply just catching up. It's probable that she isn't ready for any of these conversations. You could put yourself out there again and tell her how you feel, but don't do it with any expectations.0
Most Helpful Guy
You've done the right thing by no contact. But its now time to work on yourself. Keep doing the things you are doing. No woman likes a needy clingy man. Its unattractive and makes you look weak. Get back out there and start dating other women. A good life coach is an idea. I can suggest that you look up Corey Wayne. He is quite good at what he does. Worth it. Keep going bud.0